


Too Busy (Being Yours)

by BDEblueyes



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Bottom Kaiba Seto, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kaiba Seto Has Issues, M/M, Suicide Attempt, Threats of Violence, Top Jounouchi Katsuya | Joey Wheeler, We'll just see where this goes, boy this story took a dark turn, i never know what to tag so, jounouchi katsuya does too
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-12 05:08:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 24,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29005077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BDEblueyes/pseuds/BDEblueyes
Summary: Ten years ago, Jounouchi Katsuya ran away from his failed Duel Monsters career and love life, trading Domino City for Los Angeles. Now his luck's run out in Hollywood and he's going to have to face his past.---Jou yawned, only half-listening to the landing announcement. He still couldn’t quite believe he was back. Sure, he’d been back half a dozen times in the decade since he’d left for Los Angeles, for weddings, funerals, and the birth of his nephew, but now he was back. Back and, as his dad would no doubt point out were he still alive, a failure.
Relationships: Honda Hiroto | Tristan Taylor/Kawai Shizuka | Serenity Wheeler, Jounouchi Katsuya | Joey Wheeler/Kaiba Seto
Comments: 141
Kudos: 59





	1. Chapter 1

_“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Domino Airport. Local time is 10:15am and the temperature is 13℃.”_

Jou yawned, only half-listening to the landing announcement. He still couldn’t quite believe he was back. Sure, he’d _been_ back half a dozen times in the decade since he’d left for Los Angeles, for weddings, funerals, and the birth of his nephew, but now he was _back_. Back and, as his dad would no doubt point out were he still alive, a failure.

All of his friends had _done_ something with the time that had passed. They had something to show for it. 

Yugi was a rising star in the world of designer board games, and he was married to Anzu, who had danced with the Tokyo Ballet until just recently. She was going to start up her own dance school, soon. Well, as soon as as-yet-unnamed Baby Mutou had made their appearance. 

Bakura was a professor at Domino University (Religious and Occult Studies), and popular enough with the students - particularly the girls - to have been voted Professor of the Year three years in a row. And that’s not even mentioning the multitude of accolades and achievements he’s garnered within his field. 

Even Otogi had turned out surprisingly alright, giving up his playboy ways and managing to become a key member of the Industrial Illusions team. They’d actually had lunch together a couple of times when they were both stateside. 

And then there was his family. Shizuka was a doctor now, married to Honda, and mother to Kanta - a little boy who was universally adored and who granted Jou the uncontested title of ‘world’s proudest uncle’. Not only had Honda managed to escape the fate of working in his father’s factory, but he’d actually started his own very successful motorcycle repair shop. He’d supported Shizuka while she was studying, in a way that Jou still felt guilty that he hadn’t been able to. 

Jou was on the wrong side of 30 now, and all he’d managed was a print ad for dandruff shampoo, and bit parts in a couple of schlock horrors and z-grade action movies. They weren’t even credited to him. His good-for-nothing scumbag ‘agent’ thought Jounouchi Katsuya was too hard to pronounce for American audiences, and convinced him to work as Joey Wheeler instead. 

The industry was such bullshit. He’d wasted so much time trying to make it-

_“On behalf of Kaiba Skyways and the entire crew, I’d like to thank you for joining us on this trip and we are looking forward to seeing you on board again in the near future.”_

And, of course, there was Kaiba. 30 years old and still the same self-important bastard he’d always been. He’d expanded Kaiba Corp to the point where Jou didn’t believe there was an industry he _didn’t_ have a slice of. Except for the military, of course. Kaiba had remained firm on that point.

Jou shook his head as he waited for the passengers beside him to move. He’d been trying not to think about the brunet ever since he’d realised that Kaiba Skyways was the cheapest way to get from LA to Domino. He had not been successful. And now he had the word ‘firm’ bouncing around in there with his thoughts of the taller man, and this was neither the time nor the place.

He rushed through passport control and out into the terminal proper, tired and more than ready to find a bed. He was glad that he didn’t have to wait for any luggage. All he’d brought was an overnight bag. Carlos, his former roommate, would be forwarding the rest of his things as soon as Jou had an address to send them to.

Shizuka threw her arms around him and he all but collapsed onto her.

“You look like shit,” she said as she pulled away and studied his face.

“Gee, thanks sis,” he replied with a heavy sigh. “Fifteen hours of travel in the wrong direction’ll do that to you.”

“Come on, let’s get you home. You must be exhausted.”

He followed her out to the car, stifling yawns as he went. “How are things at the hospital?” he asked, as they pulled out of the parkade. He chose not to ask about Honda and Kanta, knowing he’d see them soon enough anyway.

“Oh, they’re fine. Nothing interesting has happened lately,” Shizuka replied. 

“And you wouldn’t tell me, even if it had, right?”

“Right,” she said. “Patient confidentiality is serious business. I could lose my license if I let anything slip.”

He laughed and she took her eyes off the road just long enough to shoot him a stern look.

“Do you have to go back to work?” he asked, suitably chastised.

She shook her head. “No, when I told Hayashi-san that you were coming home today, he agreed to cover for me. He’s a big fan of yours, actually. I may have promised him your autograph…. ”

“Pfft. There’s no way that’s true. No one’s ever even seen my work.”

“Actually, I think he meant-”

“Oh,” Jou said in a voice barely above a whisper. “You mean from before.”

Another reminder of his failure. 

After high school, he’d tried to go pro. He really had. He’d gotten close, too, but competing was expensive. Keeping up with the rapidly changing technology, and updating his deck to stay clear of the banned cards list… it all cost money that he didn’t have. Ojii-san had let him trade things in sometimes, and helped him out by giving him cards in exchange for working at the store. 

But through all of it, he still had to feed and house himself, and sponsorship seemed to always be just out of reach. And then when-

_No, he wasn’t going to think about that. Not now. Not sitting next to his little sister._

He’d eventually given up, sold all his Duel Monsters stuff - everything except his Red Eyes - and stormed off to Los Angeles to become a star. He’d been a gambler and a risk-taker in his youth. He’d bet big, and lost everything.

Not for the first time, he was glad that Jounouchi Sr. wasn’t around anymore to say anything about it. He could only imagine the choice words he’d have had.

He sighed. “Tell you what, I’ll do you one better. Next time you have a shift with Hayashi-san, I’ll stop by.”

“You don’t need to do that, nii-san,” she said. “You’ll cause an uproar amongst the nurses.”

He wanted to believe that was why she didn’t want him to do it. But part of him was sure it was because Hayashi-san, whoever he was, had never even heard of Jounouchi Katsuya. A tense silence descended in the car, and Jou turned away to glare at the passing scenery through the passenger window. He wasn’t comfortable here. 

Domino wasn’t home anymore - it hadn’t been for ten years. 

But LA wasn’t either. Never had been. 

He couldn’t help but wonder whether there was anywhere he truly belonged anymore.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morale was up. Productivity was up. Profits were off the charts. The Board was exceedingly happy, despite initially fighting him on the decision. What an argument that had been. But they should have known that they were no match for Kaiba Seto. He had won in the end, as he usually did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, I don't know what I'm doing either.

Kaiba locked his office promptly at 17:30, greeted his secretary, and headed for the garage. His car was waiting, freshly polished to a sapphire sheen. He raised a hand in acknowledgement of the guard as he pulled out into the street. 

He liked to think that the staff liked him now and didn’t just fear him. That he wasn’t the office terror anymore since he’d established his new routine. He was never in the office before 10:00, never left later than 17:30, and no longer took work home with him. 

That, he had come to realise, was what employees were for. Delegating. Lightening the load. He didn’t have to do it all himself. He was happier. Mokuba was happier. The staff were happier.

Morale was up. Productivity was up. Profits were off the charts. The Board was exceedingly happy, despite initially fighting him on the decision. What an argument that had been. But they should have known that they were no match for Kaiba Seto. He had won in the end, as he usually did. 

Balance. Who knew that was the key to everything?

At exactly 18:00, he pulled up outside Domino Kindergarten, parking on the street and walking up to the collection of parents waiting under the plum tree by the school’s front door. 

“Ichinose-san. Machida-san. Furukawa-san.” He greeted each of the ladies, before turning to the lone man among them. “Honda.”

“Kaiba,” the stockier man replied. 

Once upon a time, the exchange might have been fraught with enmity. Now… 

He hesitated to call them friends, but the relationship between them certainly wasn’t anything like it had been when they were in high school. They had both grown up. Matured. Mellowed.

And the fact that Honda Kanta had become his son’s best friend meant that they were in each other’s lives, whether they liked it or not. They had learned to deal with each other. There was a level of acceptance between them now. They even, very occasionally, had dinner together.

Kaiba knew he had been emotionally stunted by the events of his past. He knew his EQ was the approximate inverse of his IQ. And he knew that, no matter what, he couldn’t let his son grow up the same way. That was why he’d created his new routine. 

As long as he was in Domino City, he dropped his son off at school in the morning, picked him up in the evening, read to him, talked with him, and did all of the things a father should do. No excuses. If he was out of town, Mokuba got to have uncle-time. 

And, on the rare occasion that Mokuba was also out of town, Honda and Shizuka stepped in. They were, if nothing else, at least emotionally attuned. They wouldn’t damage him.

“Can we talk a second?” Honda asked. There was an unusual edge to his voice.

The CEO nodded and they moved away from the women. “What’s going on?”

“Promise you’re not going to make a big deal of this?”

“I don’t make promises I can’t keep, and without knowing what  _ it _ is...” he replied. 

His fingers itched in a way they hadn’t done in years. Since before the surrogate. Whatever was going on with the other man was spiking his nerves, and he wanted a cigarette. He sighed. 

“I will do my level best to not make a big deal of it.”

Honda took a deep breath. “Jou’s coming back.”

“Ah. Okay, so I’ll make myself scarce for a bit. Mokuba’s been asking for some uncle-time. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind-”

“No, I mean he’s coming  _ back _ .” The other man looked as nervous as Kaiba felt. “Permanently.”

“Fuck.”

“I mean-”

Kaiba threw a hand up. “Don’t say it. Whatever lame-ass pun you were about to make, just-”

The school door opened and the children poured out to meet their parents. 

“Papa! Papa!” 

A whirlwind of wild blond hair came flying at the CEO, who sighed deeply. He was sure that hair had been properly tamed this morning. But his son was made of pure energy. Nothing in his orbit stayed neat for very long.

He dropped a knee to embrace the child, whispering, “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, Papa,” the boy replied.

Honda had turned away to collect his own son, a quiet boy with dark brown hair and his mother’s bright green eyes.

“Hello, Kanta-kun,” Kaiba said.

“Good evening, Kaiba-san.” The child was soft-spoken. He wondered where that trait had come from because neither Honda nor Shizuka were known for holding their tongues.

“Look,” Honda said, taking Kanta’s schoolbag from him and pointedly  _ not _ looking at the taller man. “I don’t know what happened between you and Jou, but I thought I should warn you. He’s going to be living with us for a while, which means you’re going to run into him at some point.”

“Not necessarily, I-”

The other man shook his head. “Even if you don’t see him, what do you think’s going to happen when your son comes over to play with mine? I’m going to have a tough enough time explaining that Kanta’s best friend is a Kaiba. How am I supposed to-”

“I see your point, Honda,” Kaiba cut in. “When does he arrive? I will make it a point to see him as soon as possible.”

“I’ll get the details from Shizuka and let you know.”

“Good. Then it’s all settled and we can get on with our lives.”

If Honda disagreed with the statement, he said nothing against it.

Kaiba straightened, holding his son against him. “Time to go home. Say goodbye, Katsuo.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He wanted to blame the jet lag, but it probably also had something to do with the fact that he hadn’t seen the inside of a gym in weeks. Not since his last gig in LA went tits-up. When that stupid bastard agent had proven himself a snake and run off without paying him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still don't know what I'm doing.

Jou felt like something nasty on the bottom of a shoe. 

He wanted to blame the jet lag, but it probably also had something to do with the fact that he hadn’t seen the inside of a gym in weeks. Not since his last gig in LA went tits-up. When that stupid bastard agent had proven himself a snake and run off without paying him.

He growled and rolled over on his back, to stare at the ceiling. He should be sleeping, but his brain wouldn’t shut off. He’d started by thinking about Yugi and Anzu, who he was supposed to be having dinner with tomorrow. He  _ wanted _ to see them. He really did. They were his best friends, and he’d missed them indescribably while he was gone. But… there was always a  _ but _ these days. 

The jealous, angry thoughts came whether he wanted them or not. The roiling disappointment in himself. The unending sense of unfairness. The loathing for his father, whose completely non-existent parenting skills had dug Jou a hole that he was still trying to get out of almost two decades later. Anger at his friends, who had gone on without him. Anger at himself for feeling that way.

And, deep down, buried beneath it all, a heaping dose of hurt.

Now he was stuck on an uncomfortable futon in the dark, replaying the memories of his so-called glory days. The time when he was a regional champion and a national finalist. The time when he’d finally been seen as something more than Yugi’s shadow. More than just a loud-mouthed punk. The time when even Kaiba Seto had acknowledged his talent and ability.

Kaiba…

His stomach churned, as it always did, at the thought of the brunet. He wanted to scream as his mind flooded with even more memories. 

The memory of the moment he’d realised that his deep-seated need to prove himself against Kaiba had become a deep-seated need to prove himself  _ to _ Kaiba. That loathing had, for some indecipherable reason, become longing.

The memory of the final duel of the nationals. Of that insane match in which he had almost beaten Kaiba. Of being hyped up on the adrenaline of the 50LP margin, a loss that was as good as a win.

The memory of tracking the melodramatic brunet down in the corridors hidden in the depths of the Kaiba Dome after that match. Of throwing caution to the wind, pushing him against the wall, and shoving his tongue into Kaiba’s surprised mouth, sure that he would be thrown off and carted away by security any second.

The memory of his shocked delight when Kaiba not only didn’t resist or retaliate, but actively participated in the ravenous kiss. Of the CEO’s low, throaty growl when they broke apart, and the demand that they move their celebrations to the penthouse suite of his hotel. 

The memory of that glorious time - all too brief - when Kaiba had been his. Before it had all fallen apart. 

Jou groaned. Those thoughts made him overheat. Made sweat bead on his skin in uncomfortable, sticky patches. Made it impossible to sleep. 

He pushed himself up off the futon, changed his sleep shorts for athletic gear and headed out to the living room. He was already sweaty, why not take the opportunity to get a work out in. 

“Are you going out at all?” he asked Shizuka, who was sitting on the sofa reading what looked like a textbook.

She shook her head. “I wasn’t planning on it. Why?”

“I want to go for a run,” he said. “Wanted to be sure I wouldn’t get locked out.”

“I’m sorry about that, Nii-san. Hiroto was supposed to have the extra set of keys made last week, but then there was that whole stock loss thing at the repair shop… He promised he’ll have them for you this evening.”

Jou waved his hands to show he wasn’t bothered. “It’s really not an issue. I’m not planning on being in your hair for too long anyway. As soon as I’ve found a job I’ll be gone.”

“No one’s chasing you,” she said. “You are welcome as long as you want to be here.”

And he didn’t know how to tell her that he  _ didn’t _ want to be here. He just nodded instead and said, “well, I’m going to get that run in, quickly.”

As he ran, he scanned for gyms, fitness centers, anything that might get him out of this depressive spiral he was in. And an apartment, so he could get out of the Honda house as quickly as possible. And a storage facility, in case he couldn’t find an apartment. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Well, that went well,” Mokuba said once the boardroom was empty. He was leaning against the wall near the door, a stack of folders under one arm, and steel-grey eyes trained on his brother.

“I don’t care,” he growled at the screen where the foreign teams for Kaiba Gaming’s current projects were currently staring back at him in fear. “Get. It. Done. Or you’re all fired.”

He clicked the End Call button with such fury that the team members around the table winced. 

“Kaiba-sama-” one of them began.

“This meeting is over. Get out.”

The assembled staff exchanged glances but did as they were told.

“Well, that went well,” Mokuba said once the boardroom was empty. He was leaning against the wall near the door, a stack of folders under one arm, and steel-grey eyes trained on his brother.

“What are you doing here?”

“It’s nice to see you too, Nii- _sama_.” He placed extra emphasis on the honorific. Sarcasm, to be interpreted as 'you're being a little bitch and you know it'.

“Mokuba,” Kaiba said in a warning tone.

The younger man rolled his eyes. “Geez, what’s crawled up your ass? I haven’t seen our employees this scared since before Tsuo was born. I swear I heard Tomoko-chan crying on my way in here.”

That got through to him. The CEO deflated. He hadn’t let anything affect his mood or his performance in the last five years and now… It had been a week since Jou’s arrival and, so far, Kaiba had been unsuccessful in contacting the blond. He didn’t have a local cell phone and he apparently wasn’t checking his emails. Short of showing up on Honda’s doorstep, which didn’t sit right with him, he didn’t know what else to do.

“You’re right,” he said quietly. “I have not been myself recently. I will issue an apology when I get back to my office.”

“That’s good, Seto. But maybe you should tell me what’s up?”

He hesitated. It wasn’t like Mokuba didn’t already know everything about his life. He’d been there for most of it, after all. Could he get away with telling his brother _mostly_ the truth or would he see right through it?

“Seto, talk to me.”

No. It was safer to pretend. “It’s nothing.”

“Bullshit. If you won’t talk to me as your brother,” he said, arms folded across his chest, “let me remind you that I am still your vice president. You’re upsetting the staff, and I have a duty to find out why.”

Fuck. He had to bring the company into it, didn’t he?

“Jounouchi,” he said with a deep sigh.

“Ah, of course it’s about Jou,” Mokuba said with a smirk. “I really should have seen that coming. What’s he done to get you riled up now? Gone into AVs or something?”

An involuntary growl ripped from Kaiba’s throat at the thought. He had nothing against AVs. Kaiba Entertainment even had shares in a company that produced them. But the idea of anyone else touching the blond stung. It wrenched and tore at the wound in his soul that had festered for so many years. 

It didn’t matter that they weren’t together anymore. That they hadn’t been together in ten years. That they had been together less than a year. He would never be able to handle the thought of Katsuya being with anyone else. 

“No, it’s nothing like that. He’s moved back to Domino and I-”

“-and you’re frustrated because you still aren’t over him.”

“No, I-”

Mokuba levelled him with a gaze. “Really, Nii-san? Are you seriously trying to pull that bullshit on me? You wanna take a minute to remember who it was that picked your drunk ass up off the floor that night? Who’s been doing it every year since?”

“I-” he tried again, but was cut off once more.

“Seto, I love you but you are the biggest fucking idiot sometimes.”

His lips drew into a tight line. “I have an IQ of 200, thank you very much.”

“Yeah, and an EQ of 12,” his brother replied with a frustrated groan. “You are crazy about Jou. You always have been, and I’m pretty sure you always will be. So you need to suck it up, deal with whatever the fuck you need to deal with, and get your head back in the game.”

The air was static as the two stared at each other, neither willing to back down.

“Fine. Whatever. Profiles on the latest KE recruits,” Mokuba said, slapping the pile of folders down on the boardroom table and turning to leave.

“Mokuba, wait,” Kaiba said, his voice unexpectedly shaky.

The raven-haired man turned around again to face his brother. “What?”

“What if he doesn't feel the same?”

“Then you move on.”

He hated to admit it but Mokuba was right. It was, as much as he hated the phrase, time to man up.

He took the folders back to his office, sent a company-wide email apologising for his recent short temper, and arranged flowers for the secretarial pool and bottles of whiskey for all the KG team members who’d been in the meeting. 

Then he called Yugi and strong-armed the shorter man into arranging a dinner with Jou. Neutral ground. That was the best way to deal with this. He figured the blond was less likely to cause a scene with Anzu there. And if he did, or if it was all just too uncomfortable, well… either of them could leave without too much trouble.

_\- Are you up for some uncle-time on Friday night?_

_\- That depends. Are you using the time to get your shit together?_

_\- That is the plan, yes._

_\- Then yes._

It was all arranged. All he had to do was figure out what he was actually going to _say_. But for now, he had a company to run. He dove into the profiles that Mokuba had left with him.

When he looked up again, it was just after 17:00. He didn’t want to start anything new with so little time left in the day, so he shut everything down, and left the office, looking forward to a quiet night with his son. Well, as quiet a night as he could have with the two-legged whirlwind that was his son.

Leaving so much earlier than normal meant he was waiting under the plum tree at Domino Kindergarten well before anyone else, and he enjoyed the peaceful feeling of standing in the dappled shade with the distant sound of children’s voices on the breeze.

That peace was shattered at 17:47 when his phone started buzzing insistently in his pocket. Honda.

“Kaiba,” he said, keeping his voice low so as not to disturb the classes still in progress.

“Jou’s on his way to the school.”

“He’s what?!”

Fuck. He wasn’t ready to see Jou yet. He hadn’t made a plan yet. Didn’t know what to say. And it was too late to get Mokuba over here.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t warn you sooner. I only just found out-”

Honda continued to babble in his ear, but Kaiba heard none of it. All of his attention was now focused on the muscular blond striding towards him. He’d always been athletic, but now… Now he was positively god-like. Adonis made flesh. 

Kaiba’s mouth went dry and his breath caught in his chest. His heart beat a million miles a minute. Fingers itched, palms sweat. 

“Katsuya-” he breathed.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Of course Kaiba had a son. Of course he’d moved on. There had always been dozens, if not hundreds, of people throwing themselves at the CEO. Had Jou really expected him to wait ten whole years while he was off proving himself?

Jou stopped in front of the other man, bristling and full of righteous indignation. “Now I _know_ I did not just hear you call me by my given name,” he growled, just loud enough for Kaiba to hear.

“I-” the brunet started, his cell phone slipping from his hand and landing with a dull crunch on the gravel at his feet.

“What the everloving fuck are you doing here, Kaiba? I don’t answer your emails so you ambush me at my nephew’s school? That is a whole other level of fucked up.”

“My son’s school,” he replied. The words came out shakily, with none of the confidence or bravado that Jou was used to from him. 

The blond’s stomach flipped. “What?”

“I’m here to collect my son,” the other said. “I swear, I didn’t know that you would be here. Not until a minute ago.”

Of course Kaiba had a son. Of course he’d moved on. There had always been dozens, if not hundreds, of people throwing themselves at the CEO. Had Jou really expected him to wait ten whole years while he was off proving himself?

 _Failing_ to prove himself, his thoughts corrected.

All the fight went out of him. “I don’t get it… You have a family now. Why are you emailing me?”

“I’ve always had a family, Jounouchi.”

“Cut the crap. You’ve got a kid. I assume you’ve got a wife to go with him-”

“No,” the brunet cut in with a speed and ferocity that would make anyone’s head spin. “No wife.”

“Fiancée, then. Or girlfriend or baby mama or whatever the fuck you wanna call it. You shouldn’t be looking up your ex, man.”

Kaiba sighed. “This really isn’t how I wanted to have this conversation. But the fact that you’re here and school’s about to let out… There are some things I should explain.”

“Then you’d better start ‘splaining, Lucy,” Jou said, annoyed.

“What?” the brunet asked, looking utterly perplexed. “Who’s Lucy?”

“Nevermind. Just get to talking.”

The breeze had died down. The air was stagnant. Stale. Suffocating.

“Firstly, there has _never_ been a woman in my life or in my bed. My son was carried and birthed by a surrogate, picked from a file of suitable candidates. It was all handled through an agency. There was no direct contact. I don’t even know her name.”

Jou snorted in disbelief. “So what? You just randomly decided you needed to reproduce?”

“Not quite,” the other admitted. “The board heavily encouraged me to marry and produce an heir. Apparently, Mokuba doesn't satisfy their bullshit conditions.”

“I’m sure he had something to say about that.” 

There was no way the raven-haired kid - _man_ , Jou had to remind himself - would have taken that lying down.

Kaiba actually laughed at that. “He had _many_ things to say about it, chief among them that I shouldn’t be forced to marry anyone. I had to agree. I’ve known for a long time that love isn’t something I will ever be blessed with, but that’s no reason to drag some poor girl into it and trap her in a sham marriage.”

Despite his best efforts, Jou found himself nodding. Just because you’re miserable doesn't mean you have to inflict that misery on others. If only Jounouchi Sr had thought of things that way, how different their lives might have been.

“It took a lot of fighting, but eventually the board agreed that I could remain single, but I still had to produce an heir. I’ve never held a woman. I’ve never had any desire to,” the brunet said. “Despite what the tabloids print.”

Even when they were dating, the magazines had linked Kaiba to every starlet and daughter of industry imaginable. If they were to be believed, he had a woman for every day of the year. 

“Right, so surrogate takes care of that problem,” Jou said. “I gotta hand it to you. That is probably the most Kaiba solution I’ve ever heard. Pure logic. Cold, calculated efficiency. Practically robotic.”

The remark caused Kaiba to wince, and the blond couldn’t help but feel a little thrill at that. It was petty, but what other satisfaction could he possibly get?

“Do you hate me so much, Jounouchi? Do you really see me as a heartless robot?”

“I-” he started to defend himself, to remind the other of his words on their last night together.

“No, don’t answer that. I’d rather not know,” Kaiba said, cutting him off. He glanced at his watch. “Fuck. There isn’t time for this. Jounouchi, you need to know something about my son. He’s-”

“Good evening, Katsuya-ojisan,” Kanta appeared alongside them. “Good evening, Kaiba-san.”

“Hello again, Kanta-kun,” Kaiba replied, in a dull, flat voice. A voice with no wind in its sails.

“You know each other?” Jou asked.

Before the brunet could answer, he was hit by an energy blast disguised as a small blond child.

“Papa!” the energy blast yelled. “I missed you!”

“I missed you, too,” Kaiba laughed, cradling the child. Then he turned to Jou and said, “Jounouchi, this little ball of lightning is my son - Kaiba Katsuo.”

Jou felt faint. “Kaiba Katsuo,” he repeated.

“Yes,” said his ex. 

“You-” he trailed off, unable to complete the thought, nevermind the sentence.

“-named my son after you. Yes.”

Kanta tugged at Jou’s hand. “Katsuya-ojisan, it’s time to go home.”

The blond blinked. Once. Twice. 

“Kanta-kun is right, now is neither the time nor the place,” Kaiba said. “Perhaps we can continue this later? When we’re less pressed for time?”

In stunned silence, Jou nodded. What else was there to do? There was obviously so much more to this story. Why the fuck would anyone name their only child after their ex?

“Email me when you’re ready to talk. Have a good evening, Jounouchi, Kanta-kun. Say goodbye, Katsuo.”

“‘bye, Kanta-kun!” the child in Kaiba’s arms yelled, leaving the blond to wonder if he did anything at a normal volume.

“See you tomorrow, Tsuo-chan,” Kanta replied.

The Kaibas left and Jou sighed as he watched the brunet walk away. “Come on, kid, let’s get home,” he said to his nephew, walking towards the bus stop. “I need to have a very long, very serious talk with your parents.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “But Jounouchi was too, in a different way,” Kaiba said, running a hand through his son’s hair and thinking, not for the first time, how similar it was to Jou’s. “When you’re older, you’ll find out that you can have lots of best friends and they can all be your best friend in different ways.”

As Kaiba tucked his son into bed in a sea of dragon plushies, he couldn’t help but think that Jou had been right. It  _ had _ been an ambush. Just not the way the blond had meant it. He would just have to hope that he could make things right.

Bringing his thoughts back to the present, he sat down next to the bed and indicated the book in his hands. “Where were we?”

Of course, he knew exactly where they had left off. Not just because he had made use of a bookmark but also because his memory was exceptional. But he wanted his son to take an active role in their nightly reading.

They were working their way through classic children’s literature in Japanese, English, and German. The current book was Anne of Green Gables, one of his own favourites.

“Anne had just saved Minnie May’s life, Papa,” Katsuo replied.

“Ah, that’s right,” said Kaiba, turning to the right page and clearing his throat a little. “Let’s continue.  _ ‘Marilla, can I go over to see Diana…’ _ ”

Half an hour later, the chapter was finished, and Katsuo had slid down further under his covers, his eyelids drooping.

Kaiba closed the book quietly, placing it on the bedside table. He leaned over and kissed the child’s forehead, ruffling his golden hair slightly. “Goodnight, Katsuo.”

“G’night, Papa,” his son mumbled, more-than-half asleep. 

He was almost to the door, his hand poised on the light switch, when he heard Katsuo sit up.

“Papa?”

“Yes, Katsuo?” he said, turning to look at his son.

“Who was that man earlier?”

He crossed the room and sat next to the boy again. “The one with Kanta-kun?”

The child nodded.

“He used to be a friend of mine. My best friend.” He found that unreasonably hard to say, and he couldn’t keep his voice from wobbling as he said it.

“I thought Kujira was your best friend?” he asked, using his nickname for Mokuba. 

It had started out as Moku-ji, morphed into Ku-ji, and then became Kujira when Katsuo noticed the oceanic theme that ran through their names. He couldn’t get enough of puns and wordplay. Sometimes, if one of them was in a bad mood, ‘Papa’ became ‘Same’ instead. That particular bit of cheek, Kaiba was fairly sure, was Mokuba’s bad influence. He didn’t really mind though. Sharks were cool. They were kind of like dragons.

“He is. Kujira will always be my best friend,” he said. And it was, of course, true. For the longest time, Mokuba had been the only person who understood. The only person who had actually cared about him. 

The only person for whom  _ he _ had cared.

“But Jounouchi was too, in a different way,” Kaiba said, running a hand through his son’s hair and thinking, not for the first time, how similar it was to Jou’s. “When you’re older, you’ll find out that you can have lots of best friends and they can all be your best friend in different ways.”

“Hmm.” Katsuo seemed to be considering this, or possibly storing it away to be examined at a later date. “Papa?”

“Yes, Katsuo?”

“He looks like me.”

Kaiba smiled. “Yes. Yes, he does. Although it would be more accurate to say that you look like him.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s older than you.”

“No, Papa.” The boy frowned. “I mean why do I look like him. Shouldn’t I look like you? Kanta-kun looks like his papa.”

That was a question he hadn’t been expecting, and he wasn’t entirely sure how to answer it. “Ah. I think perhaps that’s a question for another time.”

His son pouted. “But why?”

“Katsuo,” he said, bringing out the warning tone he had used frequently with Mokuba and rarely had to use with his son. 

“Okay, Papa.” The child scooted down under the covers again, a look of pure, angelic innocence settling on his face. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Kaiba said. He leaned over, making sure his son was properly covered and kissing him again.

He stood by the door, watching until he was sure that Katsuo was asleep, and then quietly let himself out and made his way to his study. 

He’d always made it a point not to take his cell phone into his son’s bedroom. If there was an emergency, the staff knew where to find him. So when he sat down at his desk and picked the phone up, he was not at all surprised to see dozens of notifications waiting for him. Mostly, they were work things. Things that could wait until the morning. 

One was a confirmation of delivery for the flowers he’d sent to Katsuo’s teacher. Suzuki-sensei had seen the phone lying on the gravel under the plum tree, recognized it as his, and driven all the way out to the manor to deliver it to him. 

He was absolutely mortified that Jou had had such an effect on him that he’d not only dropped it, but completely forgotten it existed until quite some time after he’d gotten home. It wasn’t just that that kind of carelessness was out of character for him. His phone was a Kaiba Tech prototype, and it was full of confidential Kaiba tidbits. It was worth a few hundred thousand to the right people. Who were, of course, the wrong people.

But the most important notification by far was the one telling him he'd received an email only ten minutes ago .

> From: jounouchi.k@kaibamail.jp  
> To: kaiba@kaiba.jp
> 
> > I’m guessing there’s more to the story, so tell me when and where to meet you.

_ Now, _ every part of him screamed.  _ I want to see you now.  _ His eyes darted to the time. Almost 22:00. It was definitely too late to meet. But…

> From:  kaiba@kaiba.jp   
>  To:  jounouchi.k@kaibamail.jp
> 
> > I know it’s late, but I believe the sooner we clear this up, the better it will be for both of us. I’ll be awake for another couple of hours if you want to meet tonight. Otherwise lunch tomorrow. Wherever you like.

Five minutes passed. Then ten. Then twenty. 

Kaiba sighed. Of course there wouldn’t be a reply. It was late. He stood, plucked a book from the shelf that ran along the wall, and started to read. Well, he  _ tried _ to read. The words jumped around on the page, their meaning refusing to enter his brain. He was just considering pouring himself a whiskey when his phone  _ ping _ ed.

> From:  jounouchi.k@kaibamail.jp   
>  To:  kaiba@kaiba.jp
> 
> > I have things to do tomorrow. There’s an izakaya near the school.  _ Mōzeru _ . If you’re not there in half an hour, we’re done. You get one chance, Kaiba.

One chance, he thought. Except it _wasn’t_ one chance. It was the second chance that he wasn’t sure he deserved, and he didn’t intend to waste it.

A quick call to Mokuba ensured that Katsuo would be safe while he was out. 

There wasn’t time for a shower, but he could at least change into something less corporate. His suits were specifically designed to create a barrier between him and the people around him. To distance him and set him apart from them. 

After a moment’s thought, he traded his suit for a comfy white t-shirt, charcoal cardigan, and dark jeans. Still neat, presentable, stylish even, but less distancing. At least, he hoped so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this story kaibamail is the leading free webmail service. Jou essentially has the equivalent of a gmail address. The email address Kaiba is using is his personal email on his own dedicated domain. He has a kaibacorp address for business stuff.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Job-hunting had not been going well for him, either. He had no qualifications, aside from his dusty just-barely-made-it high school diploma, and the fact that he had no real employment history to speak of at his age didn’t look good. ‘Duelling’ and ‘looking pretty’ were not marketable skills. The only place that hadn’t rejected him was KaibaMart and that was only because he hadn’t applied there.

Jou’s stomach was churning as he sat in a corner of the izakaya, drinking tea and waiting for Kaiba. Who knew whether he would even bother to show. But, he thought, at least he was out of the house. Out from under his family’s feet.

He loved them, loved spending time with them, but the fact that he was essentially sponging off them right now rankled. To have been independent and now have to rely on family again… It wasn’t the way things were supposed to go. Despite his best efforts - despite not drinking, gambling, getting high, or sleeping around - he had somehow become his father. Unemployed. Useless. Depressed. Indebted to his family. 

A  _ drain _ on his family.

Job-hunting had not been going well for him, either. He had no qualifications, aside from his dusty just-barely-made-it high school diploma, and the fact that he had no real employment history to speak of at his age didn’t look good. ‘Duelling’ and ‘looking pretty’ were not marketable skills. The only place that hadn’t rejected him was KaibaMart and that was only because he hadn’t applied there.

His thoughts turned back to Kaiba. All the righteous anger Jou had held earlier, and all the shock of the evening, had worn away to nothing. Now he was mired in melancholy. 

When they’d got home, he had railed against Honda for not telling him anything. For not mentioning that Tsuo-chan, the only person Kanta ever spoke about other than family, was freaking Kaiba Katsuo. For not telling him they were back in contact with Kaiba - for more than a year! Honda had eventually calmed him down, apologising for keeping the secret. 

And Jou could kind of understand why. If the roles were reversed, he wouldn’t have wanted to get in the middle of it either. This was between him and Kaiba, and it had nothing to do with Honda. They’d hugged it out. Honda was the closest thing he’d ever had to a brother, and Kaiba was not worth upsetting that over. 

But as he and Honda had sat working through it, the bits of it that Honda was willing to discuss with him, a tiny voice had started speaking in the back of his mind. 

_ “He named his son after you,” _ it said.  _ “He must really like you to have done that.” _

And he tried to push that voice away, squash it, get rid of it. No, he thought, it just meant that Kaiba had liked him 5 years ago. It didn’t mean anything in the now. 

But the voice wouldn’t go away. And it fanned the tiny ember of hope that smouldered in his chest. 

He groaned out loud, wondering again why he was putting himself through this. There was no way in hell that Kaiba was still interested in him. Even if he was, was Jou willing to put himself on the line again? That fire had burned him before. He’d have to be stupid to jump back into it, wouldn’t he?

“Those are some interesting facial expressions,” the brunet said, taking a seat opposite him. “I guess that’s why you’re an actor.”

“I’m not an actor anymore,” he grumbled.

“That’s a shame.”

Jou snorted. “As if anyone even watched those stupid movies.”

“I did,” Kaiba said.

“Bullshit.”

“I did,” he said again. “Every one of them. Joey Wheeler was a good actor. I’d go so far as to say he was the best thing about  _ The Thing That Came From Somewhere _ . You’re drinking tea?”

The blond gave a curt nod. “You know I don’t drink.”

“I thought Hollywood might have changed you. I’ve heard it does that.” Kaiba flagged down a waitress and ordered more tea for both of them.

“So tell me the rest of the story,” Jou said, sipping his tea.

The brunet fidgeted, playing with one of the buttons on his cardigan. He was obviously nervous, and that gave Jou some sense of satisfaction. It wasn’t just  _ him _ suffering. For a given value of suffering, of course. He couldn’t be sure because of the lighting inside the izakaya, but he thought Kaiba was blushing a bit too. It was kind of cute.

“I told you that I named Katsuo after you. What I didn’t tell you is that I chose the surrogate I did because she reminded me of you. She had blond hair like you, and warm, brown eyes like you. She was half-American like you. She even had Duel Monsters listed as one of her interests. Just like you.”

“That’s weird, dude.”

“I know,” the taller man said. “And I swear, I didn’t set out to find someone like you. I really didn’t. But the moment I saw her profile, it just had to be her. I looked through a dozen folders full of potential surrogates, but she was the one who stuck in my mind. Because  _ you _ have always been stuck in my mind.”

“I-” Jou’s mouth went dry before he could finish the sentence. He took another sip of his tea, but his mouth stayed dry. 

He got the feeling that he could drink the entire Domino City reservoir and it would be the same. 

He took a deep breath and tried again. “I’ve been stuck in your mind for a decade?”

Kaiba nodded and took a sip of his own tea.

“Why?” Jou asked, completely failing to keep his voice steady.

“Seriously?” 

“Yes, seriously,” he said. “I don’t understand you, Kaiba. I-”

The brunet cut him off. “Because I love you, you idiot. Because there has never been anyone else for me but you. Because I have never regretted anything in my life, except letting you walk out of it. Because I should have fought for you ten years ago.”

Jou’s head swam. Every sound in the izakaya faded away to nothing. Everything except Kaiba’s voice. The rest of the world didn’t exist. There was only Kaiba. 

And it wasn’t until the other man reached out and brushed his thumb over Jou’s cheek that he realised he was crying.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He radiated pride as Jou took to the podium to receive his prize. And while he never did anything as undignified as actually running up and kissing him, or yelling at everyone in earshot that that was his boyfriend, he definitely couldn’t deny that the urge was there. 

**_Ten Years Earlier_ **

He relaxed as the water washed over him. It had been a long couple of days, full of public appearances and people-ing. God, how he hated the people-ing. The East Asia Electronics Expo was one of the biggest events of the year for Kaiba Corp, and the associated Duel Monsters tournament was a highlight of his personal calendar. 

That is, it always had been before. This year, they’d crammed his schedule so full that he only just managed to get away for the final match. At least he was there to see Jou absolutely annihilate his opponent. Even if he should have _been_ that opponent. 

He radiated pride as Jou took to the podium to receive his prize. And while he never did anything as undignified as actually running up and kissing him, or yelling at everyone in earshot that that was _his_ boyfriend, he definitely couldn’t deny that the urge was there. 

For all his jabs that the blond was a third rate duellist, in his heart he knew that Jou was his equal.

And his equal was currently on the other side of one very thin wall. Waiting for him. That thought made him feel all kinds of things and he decided it was probably time to finish his shower. They should be celebrating.

Kaiba rinsed the last of the suds from his body, luxuriating in the warmth of the shower for just a second before turning the water off and reaching for a towel. When he was suitably dried, he traded the towel for a robe, and walked into the bedroom, towelling his hair dry.

“Shower’s free,” he said, trying to sound casual, and not like he’d just had a hundred dirty thoughts running through his head.

Jou didn’t respond. In fact, he seemed quite oblivious to the brunet’s presence as he stood at the window, staring out of the lights of Busan. It was a beautiful sight, but he was oddly quiet and his energy seemed unusually low.

“Katsuya?” 

Kaiba wrapped his arms around the other’s waist, pulling him close and breathing in deeply.

“I think I’m done,” the blond said. 

His breath caught and his chest tightened, but he tried to keep his voice even. “Done with what?” 

_Don’t say ‘us’._

_Please._

_I love you._

_I know I don’t tell you but I love you so much._

_Please don’t say ‘us’._

“Duelling.”

“What? Why?”

“Industrial Illusions.” Jou sighed a deep, heavy sigh. “I met with their talent guy after the match, while you were schmoozing the Chinese whatchamahoosits. They’ve moved the goalposts again. I’m not getting the sponsorship, and I can’t afford to keep going at this level when I’m having to pay for everything out of my own pocket.”

“But the prize money-”

“Will pay off my dad’s debts and cover a couple of months worth of rent. Maybe, if I’m really lucky, I’ll be able to pick up a couple of booster packs.” There was none of his usual fiery passion in his voice. No explosive anger. No flame. No bite. Just dark, hollow resignation. 

Kaiba pulled Jou tighter against him. “So let me-”

“No!” The blond bristled. “Absolutely not. You’re my boyfriend, not my bank account.”

He sighed. “I know you won’t take my money, you’ve been very clear on that. What I was going to say was ‘let me talk to the board again’. Industrial Illusions isn’t the only company that sponsors duellists, you know.”

“Kaiba Corp can’t sponsor me. It’s a conflict of interests or whatever.”

“Well actually, you duelling for Industrial Illusions while dating me would be more of a conflict of interests,” the brunet said. He couldn’t help himself. “You duelling for Kaiba Corp would merely be nepotism. Which the company doesn't actually have a policy against, seeing as it _is_ a family company.”

Jou struggled free and turned around to look at him. “I’m not family, Seto.”

“You could be,” he whispered, the words leaving his mouth almost before he’d thought them.

“What?”

“I-” 

“Did you- Was that-?” The blond’s brow creased, his mouth turned down at the corners. 

It was difficult to tell in the darkness of the hotel room with Jou haloed by the lights of Busan, but he looked more upset than confused.

“No,” Kaiba said, a rushed cover up. 

It absolutely _had_ been. There was nothing he wanted more than to spend the rest of his life with Jou. Make it official. _Forever_ official. But if the idea of the company sponsoring his boyfriend stirred up trouble with the board, the idea of the CEO marrying said boyfriend would be a hundred times worse. Especially when they hadn’t even turned 20 yet. 

“No, I meant you _could_ be a Kaiba Corp sponsored duellist. I could make it happen.”

“You could. But you shouldn’t. I don’t want to be the reason you have trouble at work.”

As much as he wanted to, he couldn’t actually argue with that. “Okay. Look, it’s our last night in Busan. Why don’t we put a pin in this conversation until we’re back in Domino tomorrow, and just enjoy being here with each other tonight?”

“Yeah, okay,” Jou said. “I’m sorry. Ignore me. I’m just tired and ratty because we’ve been here all week and I’ve barely seen you. I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too, Katsuya.” He leaned in and kissed the blond thoroughly, until there was nothing but them. No Kaiba Corp. No Industrial Illusions. No Busan. Just the two of them and the love that flowed between them.

In the morning, as they packed their things and got ready for the flight back to Domino, Kaiba tried again to suggest that he wrangle a KC sponsorship out of the board. But Jou was adamant. 

He wondered whether he could pull any strings at Industrial Illusions, or find another way to get Jou the sponsorship he deserved, but the blond seemed to sense his line of thinking. 

“Don’t you even dare,” he said. “If I get a sponsorship, it needs to be on my merit as a duellist. I’m not a charity case.”

Kaiba nodded. “Okay, but… One more tournament. Please, Katsuya? Just give it one more try. For me.”

“Yeah, okay. For you,” he replied, but his tone was flat and hollow.

The brunet left it at that. There was no point arguing when Jou was every bit as stubborn as he was. It hurt to see his boyfriend hurt but when the blond rejected every offer of assistance, what else could he do? He could only hope that this mood would pass before the next tournament.

Jou was still on edge two months later at the Imperial Invitational tournament. It was clear, as Kaiba faced him in the final duel, that the blond was giving it his all. 

Kaiba briefly considered throwing the match. Maybe if Jou beat him… But no, he couldn’t do that. Not just because of his own pride, but because the backlash if Jou ever found out would be unbearable.

He watched his boyfriend’s life points tick down to zero, the fire draining from his honey-coloured eyes, and knew that this was the last time they would duel. 

Jou was quiet on the drive back to the manor. He was quiet through dinner. He was quiet as they sat at the bar in the den. And Kaiba didn’t press him. Just fixed himself a whiskey, and lit their cigarettes. 

Waiting for the inevitable moment when whatever Jou was thinking would bubble over.

It came as the blond stubbed out his cigarette. “I have to go.”

“Let me drive you-”

“No, Seto.”

Kaiba almost missed the tears in the corners of the other man’s eyes, beading on his eyelashes. “Katsuya, wha-”

“I can’t live in your shadow anymore.” The pain in Jou’s voice cut like a thousand daggers.

 _Don’t do this._

“I don’t understand.”

_Stay._

“You’re the best,” he said, his lips turning up at the corner in a sad, half-hearted smile. “I can’t prove myself in your world.”

“Prove yourself? Who do you need to prove yourself to? Me?”

_Tell me what’s wrong._

_Let me fix it._

_Let me make this better._

“No, Seto. Me. I need something that’s mine. There’s this agent, he’s been tailing me the last couple of tournaments trying to get me over to Hollywood. And I’ve decided I’m going to go.”

“So I’ll come with you,” he found himself saying. “We have offices in San Francisco. I can use those as a base and work remotely and-”

Jou’s thumb was on his lips. “I have to do this by myself. You understand, right?”

_No!_

He shook his head, stunned, unable to believe that this was actually happening. 

_Please._

_Don’t leave me._

They stared at each other for a moment, tears staining both of their cheeks. And then the blond was gone.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The agent had turned out to be one of the worst in the business. An apparently well-known conman. Jou bust his tail, going for every audition that came up but didn’t really get anywhere. The few gigs he actually landed barely paid at all. Or so his agent always told him. Now he knew it was far more likely that the snake was skimming from his pay.

“I never should have left,” Jou said, his voice uneven as he tried not to cry any more than he already was. 

He’d regretted his decision the moment he left the manor, but his stubbornness and pride wouldn’t let him go back. 

Yugi had tried to talk him out of it when Jou went to ask him to take care of his Red Eyes for him. He  _ had _ tried, but Ojii-san had stepped in, saying that if this was something Jou really felt he had to do, then it was best that they let him do it. 

And then the old man had bought all of Jou’s remaining Duel Monsters stuff - and way overpaid for it, if they were being honest. That money, and the money he’d gotten for placing second in the Imperial Invitational, saw him over to LA but didn’t do much more than that. 

The agent had turned out to be one of the worst in the business. An apparently well-known conman. Jou bust his tail, going for every audition that came up but didn’t really get anywhere. The few gigs he actually landed barely paid at all. Or so his agent always told him. Now he knew it was far more likely that the snake was skimming from his pay.

He ended up in a house-share with 4 other guys, all repped by the same agency though not all the same agent. They were all in the same situation, just barely making ends meet. If it weren’t for Frank’s uncle deciding to offer self-defence classes at his gym, and taking Jou on to teach some of them, the blond would probably have starved. 

And he wouldn’t have been able to keep training, and then he’d  _ really _ have been screwed. He’d have to be even more stupid than everyone seemed to think he was to think that he was hired for his acting ability. He knew it was all about his body.

He sighed bitterly. He regretted everything. 

Everything except his relationship with Kaiba.

“Yes, you should,” the brunet replied, moving his hand from Jou’s face to rest awkwardly between them on the table instead. “You needed to strike out on your own, and I understand that now. I wish I’d understood it then.”

“Would it have changed anything if you had?” Jou asked. He couldn’t see how it could.

“Oh, Katsuya… It would have changed  _ everything _ . I thought you didn’t love me anymore, so I pretended that I didn’t love you anymore either. If I’d known…”

“If you’d known... what? You’d have followed me to LA?”

“No,” Kaiba replied, shaking his head. “Not when you’d already shut that idea down. But I would have kept in contact. Tried, at least. Done more than just kept an eye on your career and wished for your success so that you could come home to me. I really did watch everything you, I mean Joey Wheeler, acted in.”

“Yeah? I think you’re the only person who ever did.” The blond laughed. It wasn’t the hearty sunshine-filled laugh of his youth, but a fragile melancholy laugh like breaking glass. “You don’t even know how many times I wanted to email you. Every moment of every day, every second that I wasn’t working, I was thinking about you. The one that got away.”

“Me? I’m the one that got away?” Kaiba’s tone was incredulous.

Jou nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, you are.”

“ _ Baka _ .  _ You’re _ the one that got away.”

Jou stared at Kaiba in silence, the years of misunderstanding and longing stretching between them. If only he could go back in time. If only he could tell 20-year-old Jou that whatever quest he thought he was on wasn’t going to be worth it. They could have had a decade of happiness, and he’d fucked it all up.

“So, where do we go from here?” the brunet asked, his steel-blue eyes as piercing as ever as he sipped his tea. 

“I don’t know. This… this is a lot.”

“I’m not suggesting that we get married, or even that you move in with me. After all, I still have Katsuo to consider,” he said, never looking away. “But perhaps, if you’d like to, we could try to start again?”

“Yeah.” Jou smiled, and for the first time in a decade it wasn’t an act. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

A wide grin sprouted on the other man’s face. “Katsuya-”

There was a beeping from Kaiba’s pocket and he sighed, pulled his phone out, and then frowned.

“What’s wrong?”

“Katsuo had a nightmare,” he said, his voice full of fatherly concern. “Mokuba can’t get him to calm down. I’m sorry to cut this short, but-”

“Hey, no worries. You’re a dad now, you’ve gotta do the dad things.” 

And while it was true that Jou was disappointed that his time with the brunet was being cut short, he couldn’t help but feel a delighted warmth at seeing Kaiba in dad-mode. He’d always had a nurturing, deeply protective streak, but he’d kept it hidden so it couldn’t be exploited. Now it was on full display, and that sparked something in the blond that he hadn’t known was there.

They settled the bill and walked out together.

“Can I take you home?” Kaiba asked as they reached his car.

“That’s a bit forward, isn’t it?”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it,” the brunet replied. “But I’ll rephrase. ‘Can I offer you a lift?’ Is that better?”

Jou chuckled. “Yes. And yes, if you wouldn’t mind dropping me at Honda’s… I assume you know where that is.”

“Oh yes, I’ve been there often enough thanks to Kanta-kun.”

When they pulled up outside the Honda house a few minutes later, Jou found himself reluctant to leave. Kaiba must have sensed his hesitation.

“When can I see you again?” the brunet asked. “I know you said you were busy tomorrow, but-”

“I’m  _ not _ busy,” Jou said. “I haven’t had much luck finding a job, so I really don’t have anything else going on. I just said that to force your hand tonight.”

“Cheeky,” Kaiba said with a smile that creased the corners of his eyes and made them glow in the moonlight.

“Anyway, you’re the one with the kid and the company to run, so how about you email me when you want to see me?”

“I can do that.”

Jou’s hand hovered over the door handle for a moment, and then he turned to face Kaiba fully. He leaned across the center console, brushing his lips across the brunet’s. 

“I’m sorry. I just had to-” He felt heat rising in his cheeks and knew he was flushed.

Kaiba grabbed his shirt, stopping him from pulling away, and returned the kiss more deeply. Time seemed to stop and the rest of the world disappeared.

“I’ve been wanting to do that since I saw you outside the school,” the brunet admitted.

“Why didn’t you?” Jou asked, licking his lips and savouring the lingering feeling of the kiss. He knew he’d still be feeling it when he went to bed. Maybe even when he woke up in the morning.

“Are you kidding? You would have decked me!”

“No, I wouldn’t-”

Piercing blue eyes fixed Jou where he sat.

“Okay, yeah I totally would have. But any time you wanna do that again, you just let me know.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” the other man said with a deep, throaty chuckle that triggered unspeakable sensations in the lower regions of Jou’s body. “I will.”

Jou knew he had to leave now, or he never would. He took a deep breath, steeled himself, and said, “good. Now get home. Your kid needs you.” And with that, he left the car. 

He stood outside the house, watching Kaiba drive away, and feeling that indescribable mix of longing and completeness that he hadn’t felt in a decade. 

When he could no longer see the sleek sapphire car, he let himself into the house, trying to stay as quiet as possible, but it turned out not to matter. Kanta was fast asleep, but his parents were in the living room, where Honda was watching  _ Super Bikes! _ while Shizuka read over some articles for Hayashi-san.

“Have fun?” Honda asked, a cheeky grin on his face like he knew something he shouldn’t. 

“I uh-” he stammered, knowing from the heat he felt that his face gave away everything. “Screw it. Yeah. I did.”

“Good. I’m glad you worked things out,” Shizuka said. She hadn’t looked up from her papers. “Now maybe you can stop moping around like a kicked puppy dog and actually get on with life.”

“Oof. Tell me how you really feel, why don’t you?” His tone was lighthearted, but his sister was still half-engrossed in her reading and didn’t pick up on it.

“You know I love you, Nii-san. Always have, always will. But you have been kind of an ass since-”

Jou cut in, “-since I left for LA. I know. I’m going to do my best to be better.”

“That’s good. Oh, by the way, I managed to fix my old phone and I got you a new SIM, so, here you go,” Honda said, handing Jou an older flip phone. “It’s nothing fancy but you’ll at least be contactable now. I don’t fancy being a go-between for the rest of my life.”

The men laughed and Shizuka rolled her eyes, picking her things up and moving into another room. “Just try not to wake Kanta,” she said as she passed them.

“Thanks, bud,” Jou said, throwing an arm around his best friend-slash-brother in law. “I really appreciate it. And I promise, I’ll be out of your hair as soon as I can.”

“There really isn’t any rush. I know you’re trying.”

Jou nodded. He had been trying, but now he was resolved, bound and determined. Tomorrow, he would make all the things happen. Tonight though, he was going to take a shower and get a good night’s sleep.

He headed to the guest room, taking a few moments to set up the email function on the phone. He was surprised when, as he was pulling his sleep clothes from the cupboard, the phone dinged on the bed behind him. 

> From:  [ kaiba@kaiba.jp   
>  ](mailto:kaiba@kaiba.jp) To:  [ jounouchi.k@kaibamail.jp ](mailto:jounouchi.k@kaibamail.jp)
> 
> > I want to see you.

He couldn’t help but smile as a swarm of butterflies hatched in his chest. 

> From:  [ jounouchi.k@kaibamail.jp   
>  ](mailto:jounouchi.k@kaibamail.jp) To:  [ kaiba@kaiba.jp ](mailto:kaiba@kaiba.jp)
> 
> > you’ve just seen me. you’ll have to wait until tomorrow for more. :P
> 
> From:  [ kaiba@kaiba.jp   
>  ](mailto:kaiba@kaiba.jp) To:  [ jounouchi.k@kaibamail.jp ](mailto:jounouchi.k@kaibamail.jp)
> 
> > Was 10 years not enough? I don’t want to wait anymore. But, if I have to wait, you’re definitely worth it. Good night, Katsuya. 
> 
> From:  [ jounouchi.k@kaibamail.jp   
>  ](mailto:jounouchi.k@kaibamail.jp) To:  [ kaiba@kaiba.jp ](mailto:kaiba@kaiba.jp)
> 
> > Good night and sweet dreams, Seto. <3


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They needed to take things slowly. Things had changed in the intervening years. They were the same people. But time didn’t pass easily, it always left nicks and scars and marks. It was easy to see that Jou’s time in LA had eaten away at him, at the radiant sunshine personality he’d always shown. He was sharper. Angrier. Darker.

His heart raced as he watched Jou get out of the car. Everything in him wanted to reach out and stop the blond. To make him stay. To take him home and never let him go again. But rationality prevailed.

They needed to take things slowly. Things had changed in the intervening years. They were the same people. But time didn’t pass easily, it always left nicks and scars and marks. It was easy to see that Jou’s time in LA had eaten away at him, at the radiant sunshine personality he’d always shown. He was sharper. Angrier. Darker.

And it was true that he himself had become a gentler person - although that particular transformation had started the minute Jou had kissed him in the back halls of the Kaiba Dome all those years ago. His sharp edges had worn down and, while he would never go so far as to call himself ‘soft’, he knew he wasn’t as hard a person as he once was. 

But they were, fundamentally, the same people they always had been. He was absolutely sure of that. 

He smiled at Jou one last time through the window, and then drove off, aching at the separation. He knew he’d be emailing the blond as soon as he’d gotten Katsuo back to sleep. 

“What took you so long, Seto?” Mokuba greeted him at the door to his son’s bedroom, looking like he’d been through a war.

The sound of Katsuo wailing carried through the hallway. 

Kaiba’s brow creased. “Seriously? It took me less than twenty minutes to get back.”

“I know how you drive, Nii-san. It should have taken less than ten.”

“Mokuba, please,” the brunet said with a sigh of frustration, “let me tend to my son and then we can talk about whatever it is you’re trying to insinuate.”

“Good luck.” The younger man snorted before walking away in the direction of his own quarters.

Kaiba took a deep breath and then let himself into his son’s room. Instantly, the crying ceased.

“Papa!” the child said with a sniffle. 

“I’m here, Katsuo,” he replied, hurrying over to scoop the boy into his arms. “Why don’t you tell me what’s wrong?”

“You were gone.” Katsuo’s voice was so small. He was so small and so vulnerable.

Kaiba could feel the pout against his shoulder and it ripped his heart into the tiniest pieces. He tightened the embrace. “I’m sorry. I went to see my friend, and I didn’t think that it would upset you so much.”

“Your friend?” asked the small, sniffly voice. “The one from before?”

“Yes.”

“It’s late for visiting friends,” the child said.

“Yes, I suppose it is. But sometimes adults visit each other later because it’s the only time they both have.”

“But you’re s’posed to be here with me.”

He pressed his lips into his son’s hair. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

Kaiba held the boy for a few moments more, until his breathing returned to normal. Then he set the child back down on the bed and tucked him in again. 

“Papa?”

“Yes, Katsuo?”

“If your friend visits here, you can be here with me and still see him, right?”

He smiled again. “That’s true. But won’t you be upset to have a strange person in the house?”

Katsuo shook his head with a small, sleepy motion. “No. If it’s Papa’s friend, it’s okay.”

“Okay,” Kaiba said, leaning over and kissing his son on the forehead. “I’ll talk to my friend about visiting here instead, so I don’t have to leave you alone. Even though you weren’t alone, because Kujira was here.”

“Kujira isn’t Papa,” the boy said with a yawn.

“No, that’s true. But he loves you just as much as I do.”

Yawning again, Katsuo wriggled down, getting cosier in his nest of blankets and dragon plushies. His eyes drooped, and his head lolled.

“Good night, Katsuo,” Kaiba whispered.

“G’night, Papa.”

He left and headed for his study again as soon as he was sure that his son was asleep. When he and Jou had spoken earlier about seeing each other again, about starting over, he had had no intention of bringing the blond to the mansion. Or indeed anywhere where Katsuo might see him. Not until he was sure that they weren’t going to implode again. 

But now… his son’s sleepy suggestion might actually have merit. If they were here, in the manor, then he could ‘do the dad things’, as Jou had put it, faster. He’d never have to worry that Katsuo would wake up without him there. And, once the dad things were done, he could get back to the blond faster.

It was an enticing idea. But then there was the risk that they would move too quickly. Like before. What would it do to him if he lost Jou again? What would it do to Katsuo? And Mokuba… if their relationship ended badly again, his brother would probably kill the blond. It had taken quite a lot to convince him not to do it the first time around.

He sank onto the couch in his study with a heavy sigh. He didn’t have to decide right now, did he? He could think about it. Maybe talk to Mokuba. Hear what the younger Kaiba thought. And in the meantime, if he took some long lunches well… he was sure no one at the office would mind. They’d probably celebrate when he wasn’t looking, he thought with a smirk.

For now, all he could really think about was when he would get to see the blond again. They’d decided that he should set the schedule. He only had to send an email.

> From:  [ kaiba@kaiba.jp   
>  ](mailto:kaiba@kaiba.jp) To:  [ jounouchi.k@kaibamail.jp ](mailto:jounouchi.k@kaibamail.jp)
> 
> > I want to see you.

He didn’t expect a response tonight, but he felt he had to send it anyway. Even if he hadn’t figured out exactly how they were going to go about this, he knew one thing. He wanted Katsuya to know how he felt about him. There was no room for miscommunication in his life anymore.

> From:  [ jounouchi.k@kaibamail.jp   
>  ](mailto:jounouchi.k@kaibamail.jp) To:  [ kaiba@kaiba.jp ](mailto:kaiba@kaiba.jp)
> 
> > you’ve just seen me. you’ll have to wait until tomorrow for more. :P

Kaiba couldn’t help the smile that danced across his lips. It was good to see a little of that familiar playful spark from Jou. He’d missed it so much. 

> From:  [ kaiba@kaiba.jp   
>  ](mailto:kaiba@kaiba.jp) To:  [ jounouchi.k@kaibamail.jp ](mailto:jounouchi.k@kaibamail.jp)
> 
> > Was 10 years not enough? I don’t want to wait anymore. But, if I have to wait, you’re definitely worth it. Good night, Katsuya. 
> 
> From:  [ jounouchi.k@kaibamail.jp   
>  ](mailto:jounouchi.k@kaibamail.jp) To:  [ kaiba@kaiba.jp ](mailto:kaiba@kaiba.jp)
> 
> > Good night and sweet dreams, Seto. <3

It  _ was _ quite late. But he was sure that not even the promise of seeing the blond in his dreams could induce him to sleep now. Still, part of setting a good example for Katsuo was at least pretending to have a ‘normal’ sleep schedule.

He left the study and retired to his suite, where he took a leisurely shower which was at least a couple of minutes longer than usual. 

When he was done with his nighttime routine, he crawled into bed, pressed the button that revealed the TV and started watching  _ The Thing That Came From Somewhere _ . He’d watched it at least a thousand times in the six years since its release. He could probably quote it in his sleep, and he wouldn’t be at all surprised if he actually did. 

Usually the film was accompanied by a dull ache in his chest, and a prickle in his eyes, which got worse every time that familiar blond face appeared on the screen. Not tonight, though. Tonight his heart leapt and his spirit soared, full of the memory of Katsuya’s lips on his.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth was, as much as he wanted to see Kaiba again, he was afraid. What if the spark he’d felt between them last night wasn’t there anymore in the light of day? What if it was all just the magic of the moonlight?

Jou lay on the futon in his sister’s guest bedroom, air drying after his shower. He had his phone in his hand, staring at the email that had been sitting in his inbox since 4am. What Kaiba was doing up at 4am after the day they’d had yesterday, he didn’t know, but he suspected they were going to have to have a talk about sleep hygiene. Assuming this… assuming  _ they _ were going to be a thing.

He’d seen the message just after 6am, when he got up to go for his run, but hadn’t replied then. Because his body might have been awake at 6am, but his mind would take a little longer. He needed to process before he sent something back that would mess everything up again.

> From:  [ kaiba@kaiba.jp   
>  ](mailto:kaiba@kaiba.jp) To:  [ jounouchi.k@kaibamail.jp ](mailto:jounouchi.k@kaibamail.jp)
> 
> > Meet me for lunch today? 12:30 at Cafe Elodie?

Jou sighed. Obviously things had changed in the decade that he’d been gone. The Kaiba he knew would never have phrased that as a request.  It would have been ‘Meet me for lunch today. 12:30 at Cafe Elodie.’ and it would have been understood as an order. That had always annoyed him. He’d seen it as an affront to his masculinity. Now he was wondering what had happened to make the brunet so timid.

> From:  [jounouchi.k@kaibamail.jp  
>  ](mailto:jounouchi.k@kaibamail.jp) To:  [ kaiba@kaiba.jp ](mailto:kaiba@kaiba.jp)
> 
> > Sure, I’ll meet you for lunch. But isn’t that place kinda fancy? I don’t think I have anything to wear…

The truth was, as much as he wanted to see Kaiba again, he was afraid. What if the spark he’d felt between them last night wasn’t there anymore in the light of day? What if it was all just the magic of the moonlight?

Deciding he was dry enough, he threw on his one pair of good jeans and a band tee that wasn’t too worn, and padded out to the kitchen to do the breakfast thing. He had just sat down with a bowl of rice and some tea, when his phone pinged.

> From:  [ kaiba@kaiba.jp   
>  ](mailto:kaiba@kaiba.jp) To:  [ jounouchi.k@kaibamail.jp ](mailto:jounouchi.k@kaibamail.jp)
> 
> > Come in your underwear if you want. If they have a problem with it, I’ll just buy the whole restaurant.

The tea he was drinking sprayed in a wide arc across the kitchen table, and he was extremely grateful that the rest of the family had already left for the day. He didn’t have to look in a mirror to know that he was beet-red at Kaiba’s message - which he was sure the brunet was completely innocent of the meaning of.

How the hell was he supposed to respond to that? Was he even supposed to respond? Surely Kaiba wasn’t trying to sext him. It had to just be an innocent slip of the tongue. Or the fingers. 

Oh god. Now he was thinking about tongues and fingers, and in serious danger of overheating.

Jou shoved his phone in his pocket without replying. He wasn’t going to think about it now. He grabbed a cloth and wiped the table down, washed up his breakfast things, and went to take another shower. 

This time he made sure the water was cold.

It was 12.30, Kaiba wasn’t there yet, and he felt out-of-place looking at the other patrons of the cafe. It was clearly a high-class sort of place. All the men wore suits. Expensive ones. Not off-the-rack salaryman stuff. A lot of the women wore suits, too. Or the kinds of designer dresses that cost more than a year’s rent back in LA. 

And here he was, looking like the lowlife punk he’d been as a teen. He could feel the other diners’ eyes on him, judging him, wishing he’d leave. The staff were giving him plenty of side-eye, too. This was a mistake. He turned to go and walked straight into someone.

“Sorry,” he said, not looking at them. He just wanted to get out of here. He’d email Kaiba and make another plan, but meeting here wasn’t going to work.

A hand clasped around his wrist. “I hope you weren’t planning on standing me up, Katsuya.”

Jou looked up then, amber eyes meeting sapphire. “I-”

“Jean-Pierre, my regular table,” the brunet said to the maitre d', not letting go of Jou’s wrist.

“Of course, Mr Kaiba.” The maitre d', who until just seconds earlier had been watching the blond as if he was about to commit a robbery, made a great show of bowing to them both and leading them to a table at the back of the cafe, well hidden amongst the faux foliage and dark wood panelling. He handed them each a menu, bowed again, and disappeared into the shadows.

Jou sank into the seat, still feeling uneasy about being in this place. He put the menu down on the table, but didn’t open it, instead picking at a loose thread that dangled from the hem of his t-shirt. 

“Katsuya, look at me,” Kaiba said. There was an edge to his voice that made it clear it wasn’t a request. But it wasn’t the dominating, intimidating voice he’d used when they were younger. 

He jerked his head up to meet the brunet’s gaze. “Did you just dad-voice me?”

The taller man cleared his throat but said nothing.

“Oh my god. You did. You dad-voiced me.”

“I… may have inadvertently used the tone I usually reserve for Katsuo, yes.” At least he had the decency to blush a little at that. “I’m sorry. But it’s clear that something’s wrong.”

“Oh. It’s nothing,” Jou said. But he knew he didn’t  _ sound _ like nothing was wrong, and his fingers were picking at the loose thread again.

“Please,” Kaiba said in a gentle, earnest voice. “You were going to leave just now, weren’t you?”

The blond nodded, his mouth dry. “I don’t belong here, Seto. I know it. The other patrons know it. Jean-Pierre knows it. You're the only one who doesn't seem to know it. And I would have emailed you, offered to meet you somewhere else…”

“I don’t want you to meet me somewhere else. I always have lunch here on Fridays. And if anyone here has a problem with my choice of companion, they can eat several bags of dicks.”

“Kaiba!” Jou couldn’t stop himself from gasping. 

The brunet frowned. “Did I say it wrong? Isn’t that the phrase?”

“Oh no, that’s definitely the phrase and you said it right, I just can’t quite believe that you did. Where did you pick that up?”

“Mokuba,” Kaiba said with a chuckle. “He heads up all the more social aspects of the company. Public relations, marketing, social media… and he spends a  _ lot _ of time online.”

“That makes sense, he’s definitely better at people than you are.”

The brunet raised an eyebrow.

“What?” Jou asked, his voice dripping innocence. “You know it’s true.”

“Of course it’s true, but that doesn't make it pleasant to hear. Especially not from my boyfriend.” His mouth pulled into a grimace as if he tasted something bitter.

“Something wrong, Seto?”

“I don’t like the term ‘boyfriend’. It doesn't feel right for us,” he said, his lips still downturned.

“You didn’t seem to have any problem with it last time,” the blond pointed out.

“Yes, well, last time we were also teenagers. It’s not important. We have time to figure it out. What would you like to eat?”

It was Jou’s turn to frown. He hadn’t opened the menu yet, and he was half-afraid to. It would probably be in French or something. And, if he was being honest, he was too uncomfortable to want to eat. He still felt everyone’s eyes on him.

“Oh uh, I don’t really care,” he said, feigning indifference. “You eat here every week, so I’m sure you can order for me and I’ll enjoy whatever it is.”

A waitress approached and Kaiba ordered for them both. “Did anyone say or do anything to you while you were waiting for me?” he asked when the waitress hurried away.

“No,” the blond said. “But I’m sure Jean-Pierre was on the brink of calling the cops. I can usually tell that kind of thing.”

Kaiba’s eyes narrowed dangerously. That was a look Jou hadn’t seen since Atem was still around. It made him shiver.

“Hey, how did it go with Katsuo-kun last night?” he asked, desperate to steer the topic elsewhere. “Did you get the little guy settled in again?”

“Yes, he got to sleep pretty soon after I got home. I  _ am _ sorry I had to cut things short, though. And actually, Katsuo suggested that maybe, in future, you might like to come to the manor instead of us meeting somewhere.”

“Oh, Katsuo did, did he?” Jou felt a crooked smile form on his lips. “You sure his papa didn’t put the thought into his head first?”

“I did nothing of the sort.”

The blond laughed. It bubbled out of him like a science fair volcano, and he had to admit that it felt good. And although one or two heads turned to look at him, it was easier to ignore them now. Who cared if they thought he didn’t belong? Seto did. And apparently his son did, too. Surely that was all that mattered?

They talked softly as they ate, chatting about the minutiae of their days. Jou mentioned that he was going to apply for a job at KaibaMart on his way home and Kaiba’s jaw had almost hit the floor. 

“Under no circumstances will you work at KaibaMart,” the brunet groused.

“With my rirekisho looking the way it does, you’re probably right. I’ve already been turned down by everyone else.”

“That’s not what I meant, Katsuya. Look, I can’t promise you a job because, despite what everyone seems to think, I’m not actually in charge of hiring people. But KaibaEntertainment is always looking to add to its talent roster, and I happen to be on pretty good terms with the guy who runs it.”

“Let me guess… Mokuba?”

Kaiba smiled broadly. “Of course.”

“Ha. No dice then. If your little brother’s in charge of hiring, I’m SOL,” he said.

“What do you mean?”

“You  _ do _ know he threatened to kill me after I moved to LA, right? There’s no way he’s hiring me.”

“I didn’t know he’d actually gotten that far,” the brunet said, chewing on the inside of his lip. “I’ll have to have a talk with him about that. What are your plans for tonight?”

“Dinner with Yugi and Anzu. But I probably won’t stay too late. From what I’ve heard, they’ll be wanting an early night.”

That comment caused Kaiba’s brow to rise.

“If you didn’t understand it the first time ‘round, you’re better off not knowing,” Jou said with a wry chuckle. “I sure as hell wish I didn’t. Anyway, what are  _ your _ plans?”

“Actually, I’m supposed to have dinner with Yugi and Anzu, too…”

“Those scheming-”

Kaiba held a hand up. “No, it was my idea. I wanted us to meet on neutral ground, since you weren’t answering my emails and I didn’t want to put Honda and Shizuka in an awkward position having to play messenger.”

“That’s actually pretty smart,” Jou said.

“I  _ am _ a genius, you know,” the brunet replied, smirking. “Anyway, I think I’m going to cancel, for Katsuo’s sake. But if you wanted to hang out at the manor afterwards, I wouldn’t be opposed…”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part of him wanted to go straight back to the office and arrange a press conference, shout to the whole world that he was in love, and that he belonged heart and soul to Jounouchi Katsuya. But that was the exact opposite of taking things slow. And he had to think about his family. It really didn’t matter what he felt for Jou if Katsuo decided against him. 

“I think I’m going to cancel, for Katsuo’s sake. But if you wanted to hang out at the manor afterwards, I wouldn’t be opposed…” he said, hoping that he sounded calmer than he felt about that idea.

A broad smile graced Jou’s face, and Kaiba felt his heart race. That was one of the things he’d missed most in the time they’d been apart. The way the blond lit up the room with his presence, and how that radiance doubled when he smiled. Just by being there, Jou made the whole world feel bright and airy. His happiness was infectious.

“I’d like that,” the blond said, his voice quiet but full of warmth.

Kaiba reached across the table, taking Jou’s hand in his. 

If anyone was shocked or upset by the move, they didn’t show it. And frankly, he wouldn’t care if they had. They could take their judgement and go back to the 19th century with it. Let them be hateful.  _ His _ heart was full of love. That was what mattered.

Part of him wanted to go straight back to the office and arrange a press conference, shout to the whole world that he was in love, and that he belonged heart and soul to Jounouchi Katsuya. 

But that was the exact opposite of taking things slow. And he had to think about his family. It really didn’t matter what he felt for Jou if Katsuo decided against him. 

And most of the world still thought he was straight.

He sighed heavily, feeling a headache coming on. He knew he was getting ahead of himself.

“What’s wrong?” Jou asked, his face creased in worry.

“It’s nothing,” the brunet replied, though his voice was more strained than usual. “I think I need to head back to the office soon. I have a headache starting.”

“If you’re getting a headache, you should be going home, not back to the office.”

“If I went home every time I had a headache, I’d never get any work done,” he countered.

The blond pulled his hand away, folding his arms across his chest. His tone was stern as he said, “Seto…”

He knew what Jou was thinking. He’d been there for some of Kaiba’s worst episodes. When the stress of running a multibillion-dollar corporation had caused chest pains and migraines. When spikes in his blood pressure had made his vision blurry and almost cost him his eyesight.

That had been early in their relationship, and between Dr Wilson, Mokuba, and Jou, they’d gotten things under control. Mostly. Until the blond left…

“It’s fine, Katsuya. It’s only a headache. I’ll take a painkiller and drink some water and it’ll all be fine.”

Jou didn’t seem convinced, staring at him with whiskey-coloured eyes narrowed and rosy lips pursed. 

“Seriously,” he said. “I haven’t had an episode since before Katsuo was born.”

The corner of Jou’s right eye twitched as if to say ‘I still don’t believe you’, but he sighed. “Well, okay. If you’re sure. Just…” Whatever he wanted to say seemed to die on his tongue and he looked away.

“Just?”

“Just promise me you’re taking proper care of yourself.”

A small smile graced his lips. “Of course, I am. I promise.”

“I don’t want to lose you again,” the blond whispered. 

“Katsuya-”

Jou cleared his throat. “Anyway, I don’t wanna be a downer, but I do need to get back to job hunting. I can’t live off the good grace of my family forever. And you got a company to run.”

There was a strange kind of melancholy in the blond’s voice, and it twisted in Kaiba’s gut. He knew that the blond’s mental health had been poor for some time, but these mood swings, minor though they were, were out of character for the Jounouchi Katsuya that he knew. 

If he thought about it, they were more suited to his own teen self. He found it hard not to cringe when he looked back at his ridiculous, melodramatic behaviour then. But they said that was a sign of growth, and he embraced the fact that he’d matured.

Unsure of how he could make things better for the man he loved, Kaiba merely nodded and signalled the waitress over to clear their table and bring him the bill. Once he’d settled that, he stood, taking Katsuya’s hand, and walked out of the restaurant.

“Oh, hold on a second, I left something back there,” the brunet said, feigning forgetfulness. “Wait right here, I’ll be back in a second.”

He pushed back into the restaurant, strode up to the maitre d’ and fixed him with the infamous Kaiba glare that struck fear into the heart of employees, board members, and duellists everywhere. 

Jean-Pierre cowered. Just a little, but enough that the taller man could see that it was having the desired effect. He leaned in as close as he could without attracting undue attention and whispered, “I realise that my Katsuya may not have the wealth or status that you so desire, Jean-Pierre. I am aware that his clothes and his manners are far from elegant, and that his background doesn't meet your refined standards. 

But he is twice the man I am, and ten times the man you will ever be. So if you  _ ever _ look at him like that again, if you  _ ever _ threaten him or make him uncomfortable _ in any way _ , you will find yourself back in the dirt in Caunes-Minervois before you have time to pack your things.”

“Y-yes, of c-course, Mr Kaiba,” the stunned man stuttered, edging away from him as far as possible.

“Good, I’m glad we could come to this understanding,” Kaiba said, sounding bored. He straightened up, adjusted his tie, and turned to leave. “I expect my table to be reserved for the same time next week. Au revoir, Jean-Pierre.”

He stepped back out into the sunlight of the street, grinning broadly. He felt so much better now. Honestly, as much as he was happy to be setting a good example for Katsuo, and for the improved morale of his staff, he  _ did _ miss the thrill of intimidating people.

“You waited,” he said as his eyes met Jou’s, his heart leaping at the blond’s proximity.

Jou smiled, a sweet, genuine smile that made the sunshine seem weak and watery in comparison. “Of course I did,” he said. “You asked me to.”

“I’m really glad you did. Come on, I’ll take you wherever you need to go,” Kaiba said, taking the shorter man’s hand in his and shivering at the electric thrill that ran through him as he did.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He flipped his visor down, started the bike, and headed for Kaiba Manor. His stomach knotted the closer he got to the mansion. It wasn’t just that his last visit had ended poorly, or that there was a chance he’d have to face Mokuba, although that was certainly part of it. What was really bothering him was the thought that Katsuo might not like him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lack of updates, folks. I got sick last weekend (not the 'rona), spent two days in bed, and have spent pretty much every waking second since trying to catch up on client work. No rest for the wicked!

“Tell Kaiba he still owes me for the dinner,” Yugi said from the doorway. Anzu stood just behind him, one hand clutching his arm, the other resting protectively on her belly.

“Tell him yourself,” Jou replied with a laugh. He straddled the bike he’d borrowed from Honda for the night and donned his helmet. “Thanks for dinner.”

The shorter man smiled. “No problem.”

“You know you’re always welcome here,” Anzu added. “And Jou, just... be careful, okay?”

“Always am.”

He flipped his visor down, started the bike, and headed for Kaiba Manor. His stomach knotted the closer he got to the mansion. It wasn’t just that his last visit had ended poorly, or that there was a chance he’d have to face Mokuba, although that was certainly part of it. What was really bothering him was the thought that Katsuo might not like him. 

Jou had always been good with kids, and they generally loved him. But with the luck he’d had lately, Kaiba’s kid would be the one who hated him. And then it would all be over before it had begun. Jou would never put himself between father and son. 

Love was important, but family was everything.

As he pulled up to the manor, the gates opened for him. The guards had obviously been told to expect him. He parked the bike outside the garage and bounded up the stairs to the front door. Just like he had ten years ago. 

Just like he’d never left.

He’d just taken his helmet off and was getting ready to unzip his jacket when the door opened. Kaiba’s eyes roamed over him and he felt a deep heat rise from his stomach, knowing he was turning redder by the second. The way Kaiba looked at him was sparking something in his depths.

“You gonna invite me in or just keep staring?” he asked, trying to play it cool. His voice wavered, the desire he felt making everything tight and sharp.

“Sorry, I was distracted. Please, come in.” The taller man chuckled and moved out of the way to allow Jou in.

“Distracted, huh?” the blond asked as he removed his shoes and started unzipping his jacket.

The door closed.

“Extremely. You look good in leather.” He whispered it, leaning in close so that the words ghosted over the shell of Jou’s ear, sending waves of electricity through every nerve.

Jou felt his blush deepen. “Don’t say shit like that.”

“Why not? It’s true,” Kaiba said with a smirk as he pulled away.

“Yeah?” he asked, unable to keep the smile off his face. 

The brunet nodded. He took the other man’s jacket and helmet from him, stowing them in a cubby by the door. Then he tilted his head towards the living room, turned, and started walking towards it.

Jou followed him eagerly.

It wasn’t often that Kaiba complimented him, and it gave Jou a warm, tingly feeling. Although he was quick to remind himself that he was using memories that were a decade old for his comparison and, by all accounts, the other was more open with his emotions now.

“Well, thanks for the compliment, but you still shouldn’t say shit like that,” he said as they walked. “You shouldn’t start things you can’t finish.”

“I would think, Katsuya, that you know me better than that. I never start anything I can’t finish,” Kaiba said, his voice deep and husky. He sat on the loveseat and stared up at Jou with hungry eyes.

He patted the seat next to him. When Jou didn’t move to take it, Kaiba reached up, placing strong, elegant hands on the other’s hips, and pulled him down onto the loveseat.

The blond quirked an eyebrow and tried to ignore the heat that was rapidly reaching kindling point in his belly. “Yeah? You’re gonna finish this? What about Katsuo?”

“I didn’t say I’d finish it right now, did I? I thought you enjoyed the build-up.” 

Kaiba leaned in then, brushing his lips over Jou’s. The ghost of a kiss. Such a gentle moment, so unlike anything in their past. 

Jou whimpered at the contact. He forced himself to break the kiss, lifting a hand to the brunet’s chest to push him away.

“Seto, wait-” 

The sounds of hurried footsteps clattered into the room, interspersed with Mokuba’s cry of, “Tsuo, come back here!”

Seconds later, Kaiba was thrown back in his seat by the force of his son hurtling into his lap.

“I found you, Papa!” 

Kaiba laughed. “You certainly did. But it wasn’t a fair game because I didn’t know we were playing. Hide and seek?”

The boy nodded.

Mokuba appeared in the doorway then. “Sorry, Seto, he got away from me.”

“Don’t worry about it,” the brunet said. “Why don’t you join us?”

The raven-haired man sank into an armchair across from them, gratefully. He looked worn out. He perked up suddenly, as if remembering something. “Hey, Jou. Sorry I didn’t say hi earlier. It’s been a weird couple of days-”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s good to see you, Mokuba,” Jou said, pleased that his voice was steady enough not to betray his nervousness. 

And it  _ was _ good to see the younger Kaiba. They had been good friends, once upon a time. But that was before he’d broken Seto’s heart, and before Mokuba had threatened to have him killed. They always were an extreme family… 

Jou’s thoughts were interrupted by Kaiba and Katsuo’s whispers. He couldn’t help but notice that they were looking furtively at him as they spoke. Seeing the brunet like this, relaxed and playful, was refreshing. The whole scene was so cute, he wanted to laugh. 

But part of him was wracked with the fear that whatever they were whispering was bad. That Katsuo had taken an instant dislike to him, and that heartbreak would fall on him at any second.

Then the boy stuck his hand out towards Jou and said, “My name is Kaiba Katsuo. I’m pleased to meet you.”

And Jou had to laugh at that. He would never have expected that Katsuo would introduce himself, and certainly not in the Western fashion. But he took the child’s hand and shook it firmly. “Pleased to meet you, Katsuo-kun. I’m Jounouchi Katsuya.”

“Our names are almost the same!” The boy beamed.

“Yes, they are,” Jou said, feeling like his heart would explode from the Katsuo’s energy.

“I told you, Katsuo,” Kaiba said, “Jounouchi-kun is my oldest and closest friend. He’s very important to me, just like you’re very important to me.” 

Instead of looking at his son, the brunet kept his eyes trained on Jou. The intensity of that steel-blue gaze was indescribable, overwhelming. Without the statement that accompanied it, that stare would have terrified Jou, but the words… 

Jou swallowed the dry lump that had been forming in his throat. The words changed  _ everything _ . They were as good as a declaration of love. The unspoken words crackled like static electricity in the air between them.

“Okay, why don’t I take Tsuo upstairs for a bath?” Mokuba said, as he scooped the child up off his father’s lap.

“But Kujira, I don’t want a bath,” the youngest Kaiba said. “I want to play a game!”

Mokuba shot a pointed glance at his brother, and said “Come on, Tsuo, it’s late already. But if Papa says it’s okay, I’ll play Mario Kart with you tomorrow.”

“Yes, that’s fine,” Kaiba said. “I’ll be up in half an hour for bedtime, okay?”

The child nodded, allowing himself to be carried upstairs.

“Well, that settles it,” Jou said once they were out of earshot. “Katsuo-kun is  _ definitely _ your son.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not for the first time, he thought how good, how right they would all look together. They could be a family. Katsuo could be as much Jou’s son as he was Kaiba’s, and that thought filled him with such intense emotion that he wanted to laugh, and cry, and throw his arms around Jou and never let go. 

“Katsuo-kun is  _ definitely _ your son.”

“Was there ever any doubt?” he asked, barely containing his pride.

Katsuo had handled meeting Jou remarkably well, and Kaiba couldn’t help the swelling feeling in his chest as he watched the two interact. This was what he’d wanted. It was all he’d ever wanted. 

“Well, I mean… he does look more like me than you,” the blond said with a laugh. 

Kaiba smiled. “Yes, he does.”

Not for the first time, he thought how good, how  _ right _ they would all look together. They could be a family. Katsuo could be as much Jou’s son as he was Kaiba’s, and that thought filled him with such intense emotion that he wanted to laugh, and cry, and throw his arms around Jou and never let go. 

“But he has  _ my _ eyes, and  _ my _ smarts. His energy and people skills are pure Mokuba though.”

Silence fell between them. Jou looked about to say something, but every time he opened his mouth, he just shut it again. And Kaiba’s own mind was a whirlwind of conflicting thoughts. 

He wanted to wrap himself around the blond and hold him tighter than he’d ever been held. He wanted to smother him in kisses that would leave them both breathless. He wanted to throw himself full-force into this relationship. Waste no time, take no prisoners, consequences be damned. He wanted to give Jou  _ everything _ .

_ And _ he wanted to take it slow. He wanted to savour every moment. He wanted to protect Katsuo from the disruption that this relationship would surely bring to their lives. He wanted to protect himself against the heartache he’d suffered before.

Every warning sign in the universe was telling him that this was dangerous. He stood to lose everything that really mattered. If this went wrong… the impact on his son, on their relationship, could be catastrophic. Not to mention what Mokuba would do. 

Simultaneously, every part of him screamed that this was worth the risk. That Katsuya would  _ always  _ be worth the risk. 

Jou took a deep breath, breaking through the swirling miasma of his thoughts. “Seto, I- I understand that Katsuo’s always going to be your first priority. If I had a son…” He seemed to get lost in the thought for a moment, before he shook himself off and continued. “I understand that you can’t just do whatever you want anymore. That  _ we _ can’t just do whatever we want. But…”

Kaiba’s mouth went dry. He was sure that they were thinking the same thing. That they were finally not just reading from the same book, but actually on the same page. He swallowed. “But we’ve wasted so much time already.”

The blond nodded.

“I love you.” The words bubbled out of him like some half-baked science fair volcano. Directly from his feelings, no thought involved.

Jou’s eyes went wide, a surprising shimmer dancing in those warm honey pools. “You’ve changed,” he whispered. “You would never have said that before.”

“No, I wouldn’t. But I  _ thought _ it every day we were together, and regretted not saying it every damn day we were apart. I’ve grown up, Katsuya,” the taller man replied. “I’m less emotionally stunted now.”

“Sure, if that’s what you want to call it.”

Kaiba raised an eyebrow, but the corners of his lips twitched upwards into a small smile. “What would you call it, then?”

“Emotionally constipated,” Jou said, ending the phrase with his tongue poking out just a little.

“Disgusting, crass, vulgar creature.” The words he said were at odds with the smile he felt broadening on his face. He leaned closer to the blond, barely breathing, “Katsuya-”

His watch dinged, and he sighed. He loved Katsuo with all his heart, but damn if he wasn’t frustrated by the timing.

“Bedtime?” Jou asked.

He nodded. “I’m sorry to keep running away like this.”

“Hey, I told you before, it’s okay. Dad-things come first. Always.” The blond exhaled shakily. “I should get out of your way.”

“No,” Kaiba said, the word bursting from his lips with a pleading tone. “Please. Don’t leave. I won’t be long. Whether he knows it or not, Katsuo is tired. It won’t take long to get him to sleep.”

“Okay, I’ll wait for you.”

He smiled at the shorter man, got up from the couch, and went upstairs as quickly as he could.

Jou’s words echoed in his brain as he went. ‘I’ll wait for you.’ He felt lightheaded at that thought. He had had enough of waiting. They both had. 

_ Wait for me now _ , he thought.  _ Just this once, Katsuya. Wait for me and I’ll never make you wait again. _

“I’m gonna make myself a milkshake,” Mokuba said they passed each other on the landing. “Want one?”

“No, thanks, but Jou might.”

The raven-haired man nodded.

“Papa?” Katsuo said as he entered the bedroom.

“Yes, Katsuo?”

“Are you okay?” His voice was full of concern. Empathy.  _ That _ he had definitely gotten from his mother, or learned from someone else.

“I-” he started, but realized that to say he was would be a lie. “What do you think of Jounouchi-kun?”

The child shrugged. “He’s nice. Are you going to have a sleepover with him?”

“A sleepover?” Kaiba sputtered, choking on air.

Katsuo nodded. “Friends have sleepovers. And Kujira said you probably would, and I shouldn’t be scared if I saw Jounouchi-kun in the house at night.”

“Oh, Kujira said that, did he?” He made a mental note to have a  _ long _ talk with Mokuba in the morning. “Well, it’s true that friends have sleepovers sometimes. Would you be alright with that? If Jounouchi stayed here sometimes?”

He pulled a face as if he were focused on some tough problem, considering it from all angles - a look which Kaiba knew his son had gotten directly from him. “I guess it’s alright. You like him, so it’s fine. Papa?”

“Yes, Katsuo?”

“You don’t have to read to me tonight,” the boy said, his eyes bright for all his sleepy expression. “You should go play with your friend. I can read myself to sleep.”

“That is a very kind offer, but I’m sure Kujira can entertain Jounouchi-kun for a little while. They’re old friends too, you know.” Kaiba laughed and pulled the book off the bedside table where he’d left it, opening it up and starting to read.

When he finished the chapter and saw that Katsuo was asleep, he leaned over and kissed his son goodnight. He made sure the child was comfortable, tucked safely into his bed, surrounded by the guarding forces of his dragon plushies. Then he put the book away, turned the bedroom light off, and went back downstairs.

The living room was empty when he got there, and he had a moment of panic and fear that Jou had left. But then he heard the delicious sound of the blond’s laughter echoing across the mansion, and found both Jou and Mokuba in the kitchen, where Mokuba was in the process of making the milkshakes.

“There you are,” the brunet said.

His eyes locked on Jou, who was leaning against the wall and looking cooler than ever. He closed the distance between them in less than a breath, grabbing the blond’s t-shirt and pulling him into a hungry, soul-searing kiss that had them both whimpering in seconds.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His breath caught in his throat as the taller man nipped at the flesh just above his collarbone. That spot was like an ignition switch for Jou. They’d found that out together the night of the national finals. The night Jou had bet everything on being able to steal one kiss from Kaiba and ended up tangled in his sheets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapter took so long. it was a real struggle for me. especially the smut scene in the middle of the chapter (it ate an entire week of my life!). thanks to [SerenaJones](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SerenaJones) and [Elexica](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elexica) for motivating me to keep on with it, and Serena (again) for beta-ing the chapter.
> 
> next chapter should (hopefully) be a little easier to write and be out in the next couple of days.
> 
> also uh... SMUT SCENE AHEAD in case i didn't signpost it enough (rating upped to Explicit)
> 
> also also i think this is the longest chapter i've ever posted, so uh... go me?

“Uh… I’m just gonna…” 

Jou was dimly aware of Mokuba speaking in the distance. The raven-haired man could have been on the other side of the planet, at the bottom of the Marianas trench, or orbiting Saturn, for all Jou knew. Or cared. 

He felt Kaiba remove one hand from his shirt, presumably to wave the other man away, before said hand was on the back of Jou’s neck, graceful fingers entwining themselves in his hair. He couldn’t help the desperate, needy sound that escaped from deep inside him then.

“Seto-” he moaned as the brunet trailed kisses along his jaw and down his neck.

Kaiba’s lips were warm and soft against his skin, and he felt like he was burning up. 

_ What a lovely way to burn _ , he thought, although he couldn’t place the words in his current state of twitterpation. 

His breath caught in his throat as the taller man nipped at the flesh just above his collarbone. That spot was like an ignition switch for Jou. They’d found that out together the night of the national finals. The night Jou had bet everything on being able to steal one kiss from Kaiba and ended up tangled in his sheets.

It had been so long since he’d felt like this. So long, and yet it felt like they’d never been apart. The years away from each other had done nothing to dull the passion, the need they felt for each other.

“God, Seto-” he moaned again, only vaguely registering the lewd echoes bouncing off the kitchen walls at him.

“Fuck,” Kaiba said against his collarbone. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“I’ve mi-missed you, t-too.” He stumbled over the words as the brunet continued lavishing his affections on that sensitive spot.

Kaiba untangled his hand from Jou’s shirt, letting it roam over his body. His fingers traced the contours of the blond’s chest, his abs, the dip of his hip. They moaned and whimpered into each other’s mouths, grinding against each other, desperate for their mutual release.

But when Kaiba’s fingers grazed the button of Jou’s jeans, the blond froze. “Wait. Stop,” he said breathlessly. 

This wasn’t a good idea. They hadn’t laid out any ground rules. Hadn’t talked this through. Hadn’t even established what they  _ were _ to each other, seeing as Kaiba objected to the term ‘boyfriend’.

“I- is this not good?” the brunet asked, voice trembling. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No. God, no. You’re even more incredible than I remember.”

“Then why…?”

Jou lifted his hand to caress the other’s cheek, running his thumb over those perfect, kiss-swollen lips. “We can’t do this here.”

“You’re right.” Kaiba sighed and leaned forward, resting his forehead on Jou’s shoulder. “Fuck, I must be losing my mind.”

“Heh. If you are, I am, too,” the blond said quietly. “Okay. First rule, no uh… ‘adult time’ in common areas.”

“Bedroom?”

Jou surged forward the moment the door was locked, claiming Kaiba’s mouth with hungry, frenzied kisses. He steered them deeper into the room. His hands ghosted over the brunet’s neck, shoulders, and chest before making short work of the buttons of his shirt.

There was a part of him that was desperate to rip the clothing from Kaiba’s body, to show just how much he’d missed the other man with that aggressive action. But a much larger part of him wanted to savour every second of this encounter. After all, there was no guarantee of a repeat performance, and he wanted to make sure they both left it with the best memories.

So he took his time, easing the soft black cotton off Kaiba’s shoulders. He sucked and nipped at the brunet’s bottom lip, teasing a desperate whimper from him.

Jou trailed languid kisses along his jaw, nipping at the tender spot beneath the other man’s ear, and delighting in the shiver that elicited.

“Katsuya,” the taller man said, his voice ragged and breathy.

Kaiba tangled his fingers in Jou’s hair, and the subtle tension on his scalp sent sparks flying across the blond’s skin. He couldn’t help the moan that escaped him then, his lips still pressed to the delicate pale skin of Kaiba’s neck.

He pushed the brunet to the bed and climbed on top of him, lavishing kisses and gentle bites on the exposed skin of his chest.

“Katsuya,” the other groaned again, arching into those touches. His need radiated off him.

“I know, babe. I know,” Jou murmured against Kaiba’s chest. He continued his journey, kissing and nibbling and licking even lower. Every little reaction he drew from the brunet thrilled him, fuelling the fire in his belly. All the while his fingers danced over Kaiba’s abdomen, tracing the not-inconsiderable muscle that the CEO usually hid beneath his designer suits.

When Jou grazed his thumb along the brunet’s hip and dipped the digit below his waistband, the reaction was immediate. Kaiba bucked under him. 

“Please. I-”

Jou paused, straining to see his lover’s face in the low light, but the tiny wet beads glinting in the darkness told him everything he needed to know.

He crawled back up to kiss the tears away. He took Kaiba’s hands in his, lacing their fingers together. “Hey. We don’t have to do this, it’s okay. We can just-”

“Are you kidding me?” Kaiba groaned. He pulled his hands away, and they flew to his waist, undoing his pants with a speed that broke the mother-of-pearl button. It pinged off the wall as he shoved the offending clothing, along with his briefs, down his legs and kicked them off the bed.

Jou chuckled at the display. “You’re cute when you’re frustrated.”

The brunet glowered at him. “I swear to god, Katsuya, if you don’t fuck me, I’ll kill you myself,” he growled. 

But they both knew it was an empty threat.

“Whatever you want, Seto,” Jou whispered.

He left the bed, shedding his own clothes without much grace. Then he opened the second drawer of the nightstand. Kaiba had always been big on routine and organisation. A place for everything, and everything in its place. And the place for lube was the second drawer of the nightstand. It was comforting to know that some things never changed.

He grabbed the bottle and dropped it on the bed where it would be easily accessible, then went back to raining kisses on the brunet’s body.

He wasn’t a religious person, but if he were, the pale, slender man beneath him would be his temple. He longed to take his time, to mark every inch of that luminous skin with his tongue and his teeth. But they’d both waited long enough.

In one swift motion, he took Kaiba into his mouth.

The brunet cried out, hips rolling desperately, but Jou held him in place.

After a few languid sucks which elicited wild sounds from the brunet, Jou reached for the lube, coating his fingers thoroughly. Gently, he eased a finger in. He took the time to prep his lover thoroughly, allowing him to adjust before adding a second and, eventually, a third finger.

He wanted what Kaiba wanted. Needed it every bit as badly. But he also knew that rushing this would cast a shadow on any pleasure they might gain from it. So he went slowly, moving leisurely, until his fingers struck that spot inside the brunet that had him writhing and begging for release.

“Oh god. Fuck. Do that again.”

Jou was happy to oblige, striking it again as he redoubled his efforts on Kaiba’s cock. He stroked and pumped in and out, curling his fingers, knowing the deep sensation and the heat of his mouth would unravel his lover at any second.

“Fuck, Katsuya. I’m c-” The rest of the words were lost to the ether as Kaiba bucked and moaned like a dying man. The little death.

Jou swallowed hungrily, lapping at Kaiba’s cock to ensure not one drop was wasted. Satisfied, he withdrew his fingers, and trailed kisses back up the brunet’s lithe body. 

“Ready for me?” he whispered, teeth grazing over the other man’s earlobe and making him hiss.

“I’ve been ready for an hour,” Kaiba growled. “Hurry up and fuck me!”

The blond smirked, lined himself up and plunged forward, gasping at the heat enveloping him.

“God, I love you, Seto,” he mumbled as he brushed his lips along Kaiba’s jaw. He studiously avoided the other man’s lips so he wouldn’t lose himself in the need and kiss him, knowing that the taste of the other still lingered on his tongue.

That plan failed when the brunet wove slender fingers through his hair once again and pulled him into a deep, needful kiss. His tongue explored Jou’s mouth as if it held the answer to every question ever asked, while his other hand raked over the blond’s back, causing him to moan and whimper into the heat of the kiss.

They moved together, bucking and thrusting, each wanting more of the other. Their sounds filled the room, every sigh and groan and moan folding back on itself, echoing and multiplying in the deep velvet darkness. 

Jou felt as though they were at war with each other, their goals diametrically opposed. He was trying to last as long as possible, while his lover was trying to break him as fast as possible. The blond was ashamed to admit that he was losing this battle. 

“Oh fuck, Seto. You’re so good. You’re so fucking good,” he moaned, thrusting ever deeper into that perfect heat. “I’m gonna cum.”

“God yes. Cum for me, Katsuya.”

The dam broke, and he emptied himself into his lover. Every thought, every wish, every dream he’d had in the last ten years. All the love he’d held in his heart. It all poured out of him then.

“Fuck,” he whimpered when he realised he was crying. He was torn between wanting to run before the brunet saw how weak he was, and wanting to collapse and cling to him. 

Before he could pull away though, Kaiba had wrapped his arms around him, pulling them tight to each other and kissing the tears from the corners of his eyes. “It’s okay,” he whispered. “I’ve got you.”

“Seto,” Jou said with the ghost of a contented sigh when he’d regained himself. “What  _ is _ this?”

“What do you want it to be?” The brunet sat up, turning the bedside light on.

“Honestly? I want it to be forever. I know things are different for you now, and I can’t just move in overnight,” he said, chewing on his lip. “I’m not asking you to marry me. I’m not even asking you to let me stay the night. I just…”

Kaiba nodded. “You don’t want this to be a fleeting thing. I know. I feel the same.”

“So, we’re dating, then? For real?”

“I thought I’d been pretty clear on that at lunch. I may not like the word ‘boyfriend’, but it’s not inaccurate,” he said, running his fingers through Jou’s hair in a way that made the blond feel safe, loved, and wanted like he’d never felt before. “But if I need to spell it out for you, Katsuya, I want you to spend the night. Tonight, and any night you want to. At some point in the future, I want you to move in. And…”

Jou waited for the brunet to finish that sentence. He waited until he felt like there was no air left in the room, until he felt like he would die if he didn’t hear the end. “And...?”

Kaiba blushed, a pretty pink washing over his cheeks and highlighting the faint freckles that lay there. “And I want to marry you.”

Jou’s entire body felt feverish and tingly. He didn’t need to look in a mirror to know that a deep pink flush had replaced his pale tan. The air he breathed then tasted sweeter than anything he could imagine - and he could imagine a lot of sweet things.

“I almost asked you once before,” the taller man continued, squeezing Jou’s hand tightly, “but it seemed to freak you out, so I pretended that I meant something else.”

“In Busan. I remember,” the blond whispered. His heart ached at the memory. He  _ had _ been freaked out, but it had been more about his own feelings of inadequacy than about the idea of getting married. Although that was certainly part of it. He was only 19 at the time, after all.

“Does that help?”

“Yeah,” Jou said, his voice barely above a whisper as his mind swirled with memories and feelings. “Yeah, it does.”

“Good,” he replied, planting a kiss on the top of Jou’s head. “Any other rules you want to add to the list?”

“Uh… I can’t think of anything else,” Jou said, snuggling into Kaiba’s chest.

“Really? Nothing else?”

The blond shrugged. “Maybe… maybe just don’t spend a lot of money on me, okay?”

“But I  _ like _ spending money on you, and I have a lot of it to spend,” Kaiba said with a small frown. 

“I know, I know,” Jou replied. “But I feel bad when I can’t do the same, and I really  _ don’t _ have a lot to spend right now. Might not ever if I can’t get this job thing sorted.”

“Katsuya, I don’t want or need you to spend money on me,” the brunet said, lifting his free hand to brush Jou’s hair out of his eyes.

“That’s not the point-”

Kaiba sighed. “Okay, I get it. I will do my best to resist the urge to spoil you. And we will figure your employment situation out in the morning. Even if Mokuba won’t hire you for Kaiba Entertainment, I  _ do _ actually know other people.”

Jou opened his mouth to protest. He wanted to say that he didn’t need Kaiba’s connections, that he would make it on his own. But that was what had split them up in the first place. His insistence on doing everything himself. And now, having been through the meatgrinder of Hollywood, he knew one thing for certain. What you knew didn’t matter. What you could  _ do _ didn’t matter. Everything hinged on your contacts.

“Alright,” he said, though he failed to keep the deep sense of dejection out of his voice.

“Hey,” the brunet said, “you deserve better than what Colton Mallory did to you.”

“You know about that?” Jou turned his head away, embarrassed. He’d kept the truth of his time in LA away from everyone. Even Shizuka didn’t know how bad it had really been. He felt so stupid for falling into Mallory’s trap, and for being too stubborn to leave when he realised that he wasn’t going to be a star.

“I do now,” Kaiba replied. “I’m sorry I didn’t pay closer attention while you were away. I could have- No, I  _ should _ have stepped in. And I would have if I hadn’t been so far up my own ass.”

“Seto!”

“What? It’s true. I was so busy being hurt that I couldn’t see how much you were hurting.” The brunet’s fist clenched, and Jou knew he was thinking about that con artist ‘agent’ and all the many ways he could make the slippery snake pay.

Jou couldn’t help but smile. “It’s okay. I wouldn’t have accepted your help then, anyway, so we’re even.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaiba reached for Jou’s hand, lacing their fingers together and running his thumb over the blond’s soft skin. They were together now, he reminded himself. Here, in this moment. There was no point in chasing the future or in regretting the past. Not when he had Katsuya in his arms right now. What happened next week, or tomorrow, or five minutes from now… it didn’t matter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to [SerenaJones](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SerenaJones) for the beta

There were few moments in his life as happy as the one when he woke up with the weight of Jounouchi’s sleeping head on his chest. He raised a lazy hand to stroke that unruly mane, wishing that he could kiss the blond, but that was impossible to do without disturbing his sleep. And he was sure that Jou hadn’t been sleeping nearly enough lately.

Three thousand seven hundred and forty-one. That was how many nights they’d spent apart. How many days he’d spent wanting. 

The first year had been the hardest. So much of that year was pain and anger and confusion, with Mokuba watching him like he was Kaiba’s guardian and not the other way around. So much of that year was bad choices. Fights. With  _ everyone _ \- including himself.

He didn’t often think about that first year. It was better not to dwell. But the sheer unadulterated joy he felt in this moment made for such a stark contrast that it was impossible for him not to examine it a little. 

Jou shifted against him, bringing Kaiba’s thoughts back to the present. To the absolute certainty that this was what he wanted. This was the life he should have had all along. Could have had.  _ Would _ have had if he weren’t such a stubborn asshole. If they weren’t  _ both _ such stubborn assholes.

But there was still the question of whether Katsuo would truly accept Jou. He  _ said _ he liked him, and that he was okay with him being around. But realistically, they hadn’t actually spent more than 5 minutes in the same room, hadn’t interacted much beyond introductions. And while they were both friendly, outgoing, social creatures that didn’t guarantee that they would like each other.

On top of that, even if Katsuo liked Jou well enough, would he accept their relationship? Kaiba hoped that he would.

There had been a conversation last year when Katsuo had come home from playgroup asking why he didn’t have a mother like everyone else. He’d carefully explained that he  _ did _ have a mother, that everyone did, but that not every mother was a mama and not every father was a papa. 

He’d seemed to be satisfied with that answer, until a couple of days later when the child had, once again, come home from playgroup full of questions. Reina-chan, he said, had a mama who was not her mother, so could  _ he _ have a mama who was not his mother? And Kaiba had done his best to explain that no, that wasn’t going to be possible.

That answer, too, had passed muster for a week or so before the child told him that Naoki-kun didn’t have a papa, and since Katsuo didn’t have a mama, they should just be a family together. It was sweet, in a way, his son’s quest for a family. But Kaiba had had to tell him that that wasn’t going to happen either. He’d done his best to explain that he just didn’t like Naoki-kun’s mama that way. 

Kaiba had never been ashamed of his sexuality, but he was sensible of the way it was viewed in Japanese society. And he’d truly believed that his one shot at love had been wasted. He’d never intended to bring it up with Katsuo because, as far as he was concerned, it was a moot point.

He had, nevertheless, ensured that their library represented people of all identities and showed families of all descriptions. It was all about love. Kaiba wanted his son to know that, no matter what, he would always be loved. He would always be accepted for who he was, and everyone else should be, too. 

Kaiba reached for Jou’s hand, lacing their fingers together and running his thumb over the blond’s soft skin. They were together  _ now _ , he reminded himself. Here, in this moment. There was no point in chasing the future or in regretting the past. Not when he had Katsuya in his arms right now. What happened next week, or tomorrow, or five minutes from now… it didn’t matter. 

The blond yawned then and tilted his head up, eyes wide, as if he couldn’t quite believe this was real.

“Good morning,” Kaiba said in a low whisper.

Jou smiled, and it made the brunet’s heart ache in the best way. “Morning.”

It was impossible to say who moved first. All that mattered was that their lips met in the sweetest kiss of their lives.

“Why’re we whispering?” Jou asked when they broke the kiss.

Kaiba laughed. “I have no idea. It just felt like the right thing to do.”

“I’ll show you the right thing to do,” the blond purred, before diving beneath the sheets.

Some time later, after one very long, very steamy shower, and a minor argument over Jou’s walk-of-shame outfit (he’d stolen the largest t-shirt out of Kaiba’s closet and it was definitely at least one size too small), the two sauntered down to the dining room for breakfast. 

“Morning, Seto,” Mokuba said when they joined him at the table. “Oh. And good morning, Jou. I didn’t realise you’d stayed over.”

A deep pink blush spread over the blond’s cheeks. “It wasn’t part of the plan.”

“Where’s Katsuo?” Kaiba asked.

“In the kitchen with Maria,” replied the raven-haired man. “I think they’re making muffins.”

“You mean Maria’s making muffins and Tsuo’s eating all the chocolate chips. I’d better go and rescue her.”

He left the two of them to talk while he went into the kitchen to retrieve his son who was, indeed, sitting on the kitchen counter and eating chocolate chips.

“Now, who said you could have chocolate for breakfast?” Kaiba asked, throwing his arms around the boy and pulling him close.

Katsuo laughed loudly. “Want some, Papa?” he asked, holding a handful up to him.

“No, thank you,” he said. “Finish what you’ve already picked up and let’s get your hands washed up for breakfast, okay?”

“Okay, Papa.” The child shoved the remaining chocolate chips into his mouth, chewing thoroughly. 

When they entered the dining room, Jou and Mokuba seemed to be enjoying themselves. 

“No, no,” Jou said with a lighthearted chuckle. “I didn’t get to meet her, but her personal assistant’s sister took one of my self-defence classes.”

“Well, what about Evan Draper?”

The blond shook his head. “Nope. You’re seriously overestimating the circles I moved in. Most famous person I ever met was Lucien Lanzanotte, for about five seconds when we were shooting  _ The Thing That Came From Somewhere _ .”

“You’re kidding,” Mokuba said, a look of absolute incredulity on his face. “But you’re on screen with him for half the movie!”

“Green screen,” Jou said, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Seriously?” 

“Seriously. All movie magic. He wasn’t even in LA for 90% of the filming schedule.”

Kaiba sat down next to Jou, while Katsuo climbed into the seat next to Mokuba. 

“Hey, Tsuo-chan,” Jou said. 

“Jounouchi-san,” the boy replied, in a tone so much like him that Kaiba couldn’t help but feel a little prickle of pride bloom in his chest.

The blond smiled a broad, glittering smile. “Oh please, don’t be so formal. Call me Jou.”

“Alright, Jou-kun,” Katsuo said, fixing his cobalt blue eyes on Jounouchi. “Are you Papa’s boyfriend?”

Both of their eyes immediately went to Mokuba, who threw his hands up. “Hey, don’t look at me. I didn’t-”

The younger man cut himself off when Maria entered the room, bringing a tray of food in and setting it on the table between them.

“Kujira didn’t say anything,” Katsuo said when Maria had left again. “I worked it out for myself.”

Kaiba beamed. “Of course you did.”

He shouldn’t have been surprised that Katsuo had figured it out. He was a Kaiba, after all, and every bit as smart as Seto himself, but with the added benefit of Mokuba’s emotional intelligence.

“And yes,” the brunet said, taking Jou’s hand in his. “Yes, Jou is my boyfriend.”

“Okay, good,” Katsuo said.

“You don’t mind?” Jou asked.

The boy shook his head. “Are you going to play Mario Kart with us later?”


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even if he and Kaiba were going to be a long-term thing. Even if they worked through all the things they undoubtedly still had to work through. Even if they got married - and his heart did somersaults at that thought - he would not become some overbearing step-parent. He would respect that Katsuo was a person in his own right, with a relationship with Kaiba that was distinct from his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks again to [SerenaJones](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SerenaJones) for the beta and superb feedback

“So, Seto said you might be interested in signing with KE?” Mokuba said.

The two of them were sitting in the den waiting for Kaiba and Katsuo to get back from their traditional Saturday morning walk. They’d invited Jou to walk with them, but he’d declined the invitation. Let them have their family time. It was great that Katsuo was cool with him being around, but it was important to Jou that he not invade every aspect of the child’s life. 

Even if he and Kaiba were going to be a long-term thing. Even if they worked through all the things they undoubtedly still had to work through. Even if they got married - and his heart did somersaults at that thought - he would not become some overbearing step-parent. He would respect that Katsuo was a person in his own right, with a relationship with Kaiba that was distinct from his own. 

“Yeah,” he said with a small shrug. Trying to play it cool. As if signing with KE wouldn’t be the pinnacle of his career, the greatest thing he’d ever done. Assuming he managed it. “I mean. You don’t have to take me on as an actor. I’ll run errands or work security or whatever.”

“You’re kidding, right?” the younger Kaiba asked.

He shook his head. “I know I’m not a great actor. That’s why I never made it in LA. Couldn’t impress the execs enough to become a name. Didn’t have enough of a fanbase to coast in the cult space. 90% of the time, I only got hired because of my build. Well, that and being half...”

Mokuba facepalmed. “You’ve never looked yourself up online, have you, Jou?”

“No, I pretty much stay off the internet other than email. Why?”

The younger man stood up and retrieved a tablet from the other side of the room, swiping into it and bringing up a page full of search results for ‘Joey Wheeler fan’. He turned the tablet so Jou could see it and scrolled. It felt like the page went on forever with listings for web pages like  _ The Unofficial Joey Wheeler Fan Site _ and  _ Wheelies United _ . 

Then there were the blog posts and articles.  _ Whatever Happened to Joey Wheeler? _ and  _ 10 Reasons Why Joey Wheeler Was The Best Thing About ‘The Thing That Came From Somewhere’ _ and  _ 5 More Movies To Watch If You Can’t Get Enough Of Joey Wheeler _ .

There was even a story about a film student whose final paper was entitled  _ Puzzle Burger: An Exploration of Ethnic Ambiguity in Modern Adaptive Cinema.  _

He was thrown back into the furore that had surrounded the release of that movie. Some people had gotten very upset when he was cast as Yuzu in the adaptation of the beloved manga. It had died down after some time, when the press discovered that he was, in fact, half-Japanese - as was the character he’d been cast to play. 

He didn’t read the whole paper, couldn’t even if he’d wanted to, but it seemed to argue in his favour.

“I don’t understand,” Jou said, struggling to process what he was seeing. “What  _ is  _ all this?”

Mokuba chuckled, clapping a hand on the blond’s shoulder. “You  _ have _ a cult following, Jou. People can’t get enough of you. There are whole message boards dedicated to you and your movies. Thousands of users screaming into the void because you don’t work the convention circuit, don’t have an online presence, don’t take fan mail...”

Jou felt his mouth open and close repeatedly as he tried to think of something to say. There were people who wanted to send him fan mail? People who actually wanted to see him? That couldn’t be right.

“Mallory said-”

“Jou, forget about Mallory. He was a conman, not an agent. And I…” Mokuba sighed heavily. “I knew. Looking him up was the first thing I did when I took over KE. I should have stepped in as soon as I found out.”

“You sound just like your brother, you know that?”

A wry smile crossed the raven-haired man’s lips. “I’ve been told. Look, you would be an absolute asset to KE, but before you sign with us, there're some things I want you to know about.”

Jou sat forward, all attention focused on Mokuba.

“When you left, something inside Seto broke. He couldn’t handle it. I came home that night and found him passed out on the floor behind the bar. I couldn’t get him to wake up.” The younger man’s voice trembled, his shoulders shaking ever so slightly at the memory. “I was so scared. Even with all the bullshit we lived through, all the kidnappings and the Shadow Games and everything, I’ve  _ never _ been that scared. We almost lost him, Jou.”

The blond looked down, focusing on his hands, picking at the skin around his nails. He knew that things had been bad after he left, but he had never imagined… He felt sick, his mouth dry, chest aching, skin too tight. Tears gathered in the corners of his eyes.

“The sabbatical he took?” Jou asked quietly.

“He’d been planning that trip for a while. It was meant to be a birthday present for you because you always wanted to see the Northern Lights… and it became a very convenient cover for his absence while he was in the coma.”

“Coma?!” He looked up, eyes wide and hands trembling.

The raven-haired man nodded. “He didn’t wake up for three weeks. Dr Wilson said the alcohol poisoning triggered his underlying condition.”

“I never knew-” He choked. “I didn’t want that, Mokuba. You have to know that.”

“I do,” Mokuba said, reaching out to touch Jou’s hand. “But that’s what happened. That’s why-”

“Why you threatened to have me killed. I understand. I would have done the same.”

“Oh, Jou, I did so much worse than threaten,” said the younger man. “I uh…”

“Hey, whatever it is, I’m sure it’s okay,” the blond said.

“The thing is, I was really angry. Like  _ really _ angry. ‘Blow up the island’ angry.” Mokuba screwed his eyes shut, like he was trying not to cry. Or like he was trying to block something out. “I met with a specialist… a guy who did wetwork.”

He laughed, because what else was there to do? This whole situation was absurd. “So, what? There’s a hit out on me?”

“No, not anymore. But there was. And I only called it off because Seto woke up and was still so wholly, entirely in love with you that I knew he would die the moment you did,” Mokuba said in a low, empty voice.

“Well, it’s okay,” Jou said. He completely glossed over the fact that Kaiba had apparently never stopped loving him, because he didn’t have the emotional capacity to deal with that right now. “You called it off. No harm, no foul, right?” 

The other man stood up then, and the blond was suddenly struck by just how much he had grown in the last decade. Gone was the short child with the wild hair, noodly arms, and infectious grin. In his place stood a giant, taller even than Seto, broader and more muscular than Jou himself. 

It was Mokuba’s cheery disposition and affable personality, Jou realised, that kept people from seeing just how much of a beast the boy had turned into. But there was no mistaking it now. The glint in his chilled-steel eyes was enough to make even Ryou’s blood curdle.

“Yes,” the raven-haired man said. “Yes, I called it off. There’s no contract on your life now. But Jounouchi, I want you to understand something very clearly…”

Jou winced at Mokuba’s use of his full last name, and swallowed hard, knowing exactly what was coming.

“I was only 15 then, just a boy. I was weak, and small, and terrified. But I’m different now. I’m a  _ man _ now. And if you  _ ever _ hurt my brother like that again, I won’t take another hit out on you. I will kill you myself. And no one will ever find you.”

The sound of Katsuo running through the foyer broke the tension, and every trace of malice and anger disappeared from Mokuba’s face, as if it had never been there at all. The boy ran into the den, throwing himself onto the couch next to Jou. Kaiba strolled in behind him, oblivious of the darkness that had just fled the room.

“So, stop by the office Monday morning and I’ll have the paperwork all ready for you to sign. Welcome to Kaiba Entertainment,” the younger Kaiba said, sticking his hand out, a bright, chipper grin plastered across his face.

Jou, in shock and in doubt as to the state of his underwear, shook the other’s hand and wondered whether it was too late to go back to LA.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He’d been given a second chance with the only man he’d ever loved, in the romantic sense, and he was not about to let miscommunications screw it up for him. They’d fallen apart before because they couldn’t, or wouldn’t, talk to each other. Because they didn’t understand each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks again to [SerenaJones](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SerenaJones) for beta-ing for my sleepy ass
> 
> uh yeah... so i actually updated the tags on this fic. 
> 
> WARNING: this chapter references an attempted suicide. no gory details, but if that is something you'd rather not read, i understand. there shouldn't be any more references to it so just skip this chapter.

“Is it Mario Kart time?” Katsuo asked, the cheesy grin on his face showing that he already knew it was.

Kaiba smiled. “Yes, we can play for a little bit. But  _ only _ a little bit, do you hear me? We’re not spending all day playing games.”

“Yes, Papa,” the child said, scrambling off the couch to get the game ready.

“Actually, I’m gonna have to head out,” Jou said, pushing himself up out of his seat. “Gotta get Honda’s bike back to him and start making some plans.”

Kaiba noticed that the blond wasn’t meeting his eyes. Was something wrong? What was he hiding? They’d been together less than a week, and already the secrets were starting, and that didn’t sit well with him at all. 

He’d been given a second chance with the only man he’d ever loved, in the romantic sense, and he was not about to let miscommunications screw it up for him. They’d fallen apart before because they couldn’t, or wouldn’t, talk to each other. Because they didn’t understand each other. 

Well, not this time.

“I’ll walk you out,” he said.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Mokuba and Katsuo exchange a look before they started making obnoxious kissy-faces and smooching sounds.

“Seriously?” he asked, leveling them with one of his patented I’m-surrounded-by-idiots looks, usually reserved for employees and unworthy duellists. “You’re almost 26, Moki. Grow up.”

“Love you too, Nii-sama,” Mokuba replied with a voice full of good-natured cheer. “See you on Monday, Jou!”

Rolling his eyes, Kaiba turned and walked to Jou, placing a hand gently on the small of the blond’s back and steering him out of the den. 

“Katsuya, is something wrong?” he asked when they were out of earshot of the others.

He felt Jou’s shoulders sink more than he saw them. 

“I- what if we’re making a mistake?” the blond said, almost inaudibly.

“Do you believe we are?”

“No, but-”

“But what, Katsuya?” He removed his hand from the other’s back and turned to face him, blue eyes meeting brown. “Where is this coming from?”

Jou closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and opened them again. Up close like this, the tiny flecks of yellow and green in his eyes were unmistakable. They shone like fire opals.

“Mokuba told me about your coma,” he said, tears beading up in those precious amber eyes. “I almost killed you, Seto.”

“No, Katsuya.  _ I _ almost killed me. And what’s more, I was  _ trying _ to.” 

The shorter man’s eyes went wide. His mouth gaped. 

“I knew the risks of heavy drinking with my condition, with the meds I was on at the time. I did it anyway. On purpose.” Kaiba ran a hand through his hair, a nervous habit he’d picked up from the blond all those years ago. “And yes, you leaving was a factor, but it wasn’t my sole motivation. You know  _ a lot _ of what was going on with me back then, but you don’t know it all. Even if you hadn’t left, I probably would still have done it, just maybe not right then.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Jou asked, tears running over his perfect freckled cheeks.

“It’s not supposed to do anything. It’s just me telling you the truth, because I don’t want us to have secrets from each other. I don’t want us to lie - even if the truth is going to hurt.” He reached up to wipe the tears from Jou’s face. “Afterwards- When I woke up, I realised I couldn’t go on living the way that I was. Trying to live up to the image I created for myself after Gozaburo… it was killing me. I got help. Went to therapy. Made a lot of changes. And you were a part of that, too.”

“What do you mean?”

He took the blond’s hands in his, squeezing them gently, running his thumbs over the backs of them. “I mean that there was a part of me that thought you’d left because I wasn’t… because I didn’t make myself available enough to you. Because I didn’t tell you how I felt. I wasn’t a very good boyfriend, was I?”

“I dunno about that,” Jou replied. “I thought you were pretty great. I mean, sure, there were a lot of times when you had to work and I couldn’t be with you. And you never really said what you were feeling. I never really did either. But I never felt unwanted or unloved with you.”

Kaiba couldn’t help but smile a little then. “I’m glad. Because I’ve never not wanted you, and I’ve never not loved you. I was just… what was the phrase you used? Emotionally constipated?”

“I guess I was too,” the blond replied, returning the smile with a tiny, fragile one of his own.

“You’re it for me, Katsuya. There’s never been anyone else. Never  _ will be  _ anyone else.” He pulled Jou towards him, wrapped his arms around the shorter man and held him tightly. “I don’t ever want to let you go again.”

“I feel the same,” Jou said, his voice muffled by the fabric of Kaiba’s shirt. 

“Okay, good. Then let’s make a promise. No secrets, no lies. If something’s bothering us, we’ll talk about it. If something happens, we’ll share. Okay?”

He felt the blond nod against his chest, and he bent his head down to kiss that untamed mane. Jou pulled away a little. 

“Let’s start with this condition you and Mokuba keep talking about. I knew you had a blood pressure problem, and the stress-anxiety thing, but something tells me that’s not the condition you meant.”

Kaiba said heavily. “You’re right, it’s not. And it’s a good place to start. I have a heart condition. Apparently I was born with it. Dr Wilson said it probably would never have been an issue if it weren’t for the high-stress lifestyle that I was leading.”

“And you didn’t tell me about it, why exactly?” the blond asked, his hand on his hip and his lips pursed.

“I didn’t want you to think I was weak.”

Jou rolled his eyes. “Seto, that makes no sense.”

“I know,” he replied. “I know. But at the time… it was bad enough that you knew about the migraines and the dizzy spells. It was bad enough that you knew about the things you could  _ see _ .”

“You’re the smartest idiot on the planet,” the blond said, “but I kinda get your reasoning. So you’re forgiven.” 

Jou tilted up to kiss him, a soft, sweet kiss that made the world glitter.

“Do you still have to go, or were you just running away because you got scared?” he asked when they broke the kiss.

“Little of column A, little of column B,” Jou replied with a sheepish smile.

“Well, there’s nothing to be scared of. I promise.”

The blond chuckled. “Yeah, nothing except Mokuba.”

Kaiba raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, it’s nothing. Just…” He stopped and shook his head. “No, it’s nothing.”

“Katsuya, what did we just say?”

“Hey, don’t dad-voice me,” the shorter man said, elbowing him gently in the rib.

“I wouldn’t have to dad-voice you if you’d tell me what you meant.”

Jou sighed. “Have you noticed how big Mokuba’s gotten? And I don’t mean in the ‘look how much he’s grown’ sense. I didn’t notice before, but he’s kinda beefy.”

“Beefy?” Kaiba chuckled. “Katsuya, have you been checking out my baby brother?”

“What? No. God, no. He’s practically  _ my _ baby brother, too, you know.” The blond shuddered and made a strange little gagging motion. “No, he’s just… I wouldn’t like to get on the wrong side of him is all.”

“Ah. He threatened you.”

Jou looked away. He obviously didn’t want to say it, but the fact that he wasn’t saying it told Kaiba everything he needed to know. 

He made  _ another _ mental note to have a chat with his brother. Obviously, Mokuba had the best of intentions. He only ever had the family’s interests at heart. But making threats against Jou was unacceptable. Ring or not, paperwork or not, Jou was family.

“It’s okay,” he said. “I’ll take care of it. You don’t need to be afraid of him.”

Jou nodded and leaned up to kiss him again. This time, the kiss was less chaste, and the feeling of it lingered on his lips long after they’d separated. 

They held hands as they walked out to where Jou had parked the bike. Such a sweet, simple thing, and yet it sent fire through his veins every time. He would never, ever grow tired of touching and being touched by the blond. 

And then he saw the bike. 

“What the actual fuck is that thing, Katsuya?” 

The shorter man shrugged. “I don’t know. One of Honda’s pet projects. It runs, and it gets me around safely. That’s all that matters to me.”

“It looks like it’s held together by spit and sheer willpower. You  _ cannot _ keep riding that mess. I’m buying you a new bike.”

“Seto-”

He held up a hand and cut the blond off. “No, Katsuya, it’s non-negotiable. This isn’t a  _ spoiling _ thing, this is a  _ matter of your safety _ thing. If you’d rather have a car, I’ll buy you a car, but  _ that _ Frankenstein’s motor,” he pointed accusingly, “will not be a fixture in your life.”

“Alright, you can buy me a bike. But nothing fancy, okay? Just something that’ll get me around town,” Jou said with a sigh.

“Deal,” he said, leaning down and kissing him one last time. “I wish you didn’t have to go.”

“I know,” said the blond as he pulled on his gloves and helmet. “I wish I didn’t have to go either. Maybe one day…”

_ Tomorrow, _ he wanted to scream.  _ No, forget tomorrow. Today. Come back. Move in with me. Never leave me again. _

Instead, he said, “one day. I love you, Katsuya.”

“I love you too, Seto.”

And then the blond was gone, and Kaiba’s brain was itching with all the new plans he had to make.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we should be getting back into lighter, fluffier territory soon. maybe. there's at least one more serious conversation that Jou needs to have, and probably at least one more that Kaiba needs to have (although i might off-page that). 
> 
> the truth is, i don't plot this story more than about a chapter, maybe two, in advance. i have no idea what's coming up next.


End file.
